Tag: family

3 Crucial Supports For Home Educating Through Medical Challenges

Posted on by SPED Homeschool

 

By Julie Grosz, M.Ed., with Heart of Dakota Curriculum

 

Do you have a medical challenge or two in your life right now? If you do, please know you are definitely not alone! Now more than ever, it seems like medical challenges are mounting. In the past 20 years of homeschooling my own three sons, we have had multiple medical challenges. Some have lingered, and praise God – some have not. Faith, family, and homeschooling have held us together; they have given us much needed normality among the abnormality of medical challenges.

We’ve had medical challenges of high-risk pregnancies, months of complete bed rest, fibroids, cysts, dozens of hospital stays, premature babies, NICU hospitalizations, physical therapies, occupational therapies , speech therapies, helmet therapies, cardiologist appointments, epi-pens, severe reflux, thyroid disease, and hernia surgery, the list goes on. I’ve helped care for my dad through pancreatic cancer, my mom through high blood pressure, my sister through vertigo, my husband through COVID, and of course, the list could go on.

 

Your Own Medical Challenges

Many of you, just like me, have your own lengthy list of medical challenges. Some have lingered, but praise God, some have not. You have more than likely found yourself to be the patient needing care. You have likely found yourself to be the caregiver. Both the role of patient and caregiver pose medical related challenges. However, no matter what your circumstances may be, faith, family, and homeschooling can truly hold you together! They can be your calm in the storm. On the worst of days, they can be your anchor, holding you steady until the winds and the waves have passed.

 

Leaning on Faith in the Midst of Medical Challenges

You can lean on your faith  in the midst of medical challenges. I know because I’ve witnessed it firsthand from my dad. My dad was strong, happy, healthy, and a hard- working family man with a heart for the Lord. The other day I needed to list my dad’s medical challenges for my doctor, as we had to do some genetic testing for my son’s heart condition. I was shocked at the list! My dad had his gallbladder removed, had an abdominal aneurysm, needed 19 pins in a rotator cuff surgery, had seven blood clots pass through his heart, had a heart attack, a brain bleed, and pancreatic cancer. I had just told the doctor my dad was an incredibly healthy strong man. Where in the world did I get that idea?!? Well, I can tell you where, it was from my dad.

My dad’s faith made him strong. So strong, even through all his medical challenges, my mom, my sisters, and I still would all say he was a healthy man. Making that list showed me he doesn’t really look all that healthy on paper. Still, we remember him as a strong, healthy man who loved to laugh and who loved the Lord. People came to visit my dad during his pancreatic cancer, and they often left encouraged by my dad! He had his bad days, but overall, he was still quite happy. Faith, he leaned on his faith during medical challenges. They seemed to disappear right before our very eyes. We forgot them because he didn’t dwell on them. Lean on your faith in the midst of medical challenges. Talk to God  about it. He cares, and He will carry you through the storm.

 

Leaning on Family in the Midst of Medical Challenges

You can lean on your family in the midst of medical challenges. I know, because I have been leaned on, and done some leaning of my own. My husband got up before work to put a lunch he made for me in the fridge every day during my many months of bedrest. When doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me, my sister hauled me from doctor to doctor until they figured it out. My mom came to care for my baby while I recovered from medical challenges that had brought sheer exhaustion. My dad came to help me care for my premature baby. Even my sons brought me food and blankets and hugs as I lay in bed recovering from surgery. I returned the favor by caring for my husband, my sons, my sister, my dad, and my Mom through some of their medical challenges.

Lean on your family  in the midst of medical challenges. Tell them what they can do to help. Be there for them in their medical challenges. Send a card, give them a call, make a meal, give a hug, get groceries, or simply ask what you can do to help and do it.. When my dad was at home in hospice care, he wanted me to take all the encyclopedia sets home in my car and disperse them among family. There were four complete sets. They were heavy, and they were in the basement. I carried them all to my car by myself, and they barely fit. It didn’t matter. He wanted it done, and he couldn’t do it. There is nothing wrong with helping with odd requests nor making odd requests. Family doesn’t judge; they help.

 

Leaning on Homeschooling in the Midst of Medical Challenges

You can lean on your homeschooling in the midst of medical challenges. Let homeschooling be your normal in the midst of the storm. Do what you can and do it as regularly as you can. If you are bedridden, have the children bring their books to you. If your children are bedridden, go to them. Homeschooling can work in a bed or on a couch. I’ve done both and actually still quite enjoyed it! Make your homeschool things mobile. Backpacks, canvas cubes, totes, wheeled suitcases, get creative! Mobile homeschooling means it can be done wherever you are.

If medical challenges require lengthy therapies for one child and your other children need to come, use that time to homeschool your other children. When my youngest son had helmet, physical, and occupational therapies in another city, my other two sons came to the appointments. My husband traveled for work and could not care for them. I brought my other two sons’ homeschooling things in backpacks. I also asked the nurse if they had an empty room or place I could quietly homeschool the boys. They did! In fact, they gave me my own room. They even let me use the physical therapy room for indoor recess. It was full of balls, ramps, mats, and hoops. The boys loved it!

Maybe you’re in the middle of a major medical challenge, and maybe you don’t see it going away any time soon or maybe ever. Do what you can. If you have two good hours a day to homeschool, then homeschool those two hours. Move slowly, steadily forward. Maintain routine and balance by moving through subjects in the same order. Write down the order you’d like: Bible, history, geography, science, math, reading, read-alouds, spelling, music, grammar, art, etc. Maybe on Monday you have two good hours and you start with the Bible and make it through science. On Tuesday, maybe you have three good hours, so you start with math and make it through art. Maintain a routine, and homeschooling can still be your normal.

 

In Closing

If you find yourself in the midst of medical challenges, take heart! You are not alone. Lean on your faith, your family, and your homeschooling. Give yourself, your spouse, your children, and your extended family a LOT of grace. Looking back, I see God’s hand in all we have been through. I rest in the promise that His plan is good; it is better than mine. Medical challenges come and go; even medical challenges that hang around have periods of respite and times of hardship. Hold strong in the storm; celebrate in the calm. Look back and marvel at all God has brought you through. Know in the depths of your soul, God is good. He loves you. He is with you in the storm, and the storm will not last forever.

In Christ,

Julie

 

Julie Grosz, M.Ed., is a placement specialist and professional blogger for  Heart of Dakota. Julie is a former public school teacher who lives in South Dakota, where she and her husband have homeschooled their three sons. Julie has enjoyed helping Heart of Dakota families on the phone and at conventions with placement, questions, and orders for the past 20 years. Her passion is writing, however, homeschooling her own sons from preschool to twelfth grade has been her most fulfilling adventure of all!

 

 

 

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20 Ways to Ring in the New Year with Kids

Posted on by SPED Homeschool

 

 by Amy Vickrey, Dawn Spence, & Peggy Ployhar 

 

It’s the end of the year 2021 and the holidays bring down time. This lack of structure brings freedom and sometimes that can mean added stress. You might use this time of the year to reflect and work on activities that will help you to grow closer as a family in the new year. The following is a list that provides activities to do New Year’s Eve to ring in the New Year. Have a blast and start off the year with fun activities that will engage the whole family.

  

New Year’s Eve Countdown Fun

 

New Year’s Day Activities

 

Activities that Usher in the New Year with Purpose

 

If you did not find something that matched your needs, look at  this blog on adaptive ways to capture the New Year with your child. May you find joy in your homeschooling journey this year. Have a happy New Year 2022!

 

 

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How One Family Turned Their Love of Learning Together into a Family Business

Posted on by SPED Homeschool

 

By Charlene Notgrass, from Notgrass History, SPED Homeschool Curriculum Partner

 

God usually gives us one child at a time, with each new baby coming into a family made up of varying ages. Sometimes God gives parents twins, and I even know a couple who had quadruplets. Still, in most families, each person is a different age. Even when children share the same birthday, they don’t share the same skill levels in every area at every stage.

 

One joy of homeschooling is that children in a family can learn together sometimes and receive individual instruction at other times. I cherish the memories of our family learning together. Sometimes that happened when we were reading aloud or while taking a daylong field trip or a weeklong vacation. Sometimes we learned together while putting on a play, making a craft, taking an art class, teaching a Bible class, or eating a meal from a certain region of America or the world. 

 

Homeschooling was once a burden for me, but it became a joy when I learned to relax and homeschool from the perspective of who we were, as a family. No longer were lessons a chore. Instead, these lessons became a way for us to share life together. We even decided as a family to create materials to combine subjects, teach multiple levels, and instruct the hearts, souls, and minds of our children.

 

The result of our planning eventually became a curriculum that is now loved by many homeschooling families, Notgrass History. The curriculum we ended up creating provides narrative lessons and activities. These activities include primary sources and literature, arts and crafts projects, review material, tests, family activities, and writing prompts. We never wanted these activities to be burdensome but instead to be a tool parents could use for instruction based on what they knew about how their family best learned together. 

 

For example, our book From Adam to Us is our world history course for children in grades 5-8. We have heard that some parents include children in these lessons who are younger than 5, while others have used it with their high school students. Some families complete the course in a year, while others spread the lessons out over a longer period. The reason I state these things is that when teaching multiple levels of students and those with learning differences, it is beneficial to have a curriculum that can flex with your family’s and student’s needs.

 

We chose stories that encouraged our family’s Christian faith, plus we included additional learning items like historical documents, maps, timelines, vocabulary, creative writing ideas, and hands-on activities that we could use together to interact around, and dig deeper into, specific content as a family.

 

You too can make homeschool less complicated and educationally richer by learning together as a family. This creates a less stressful, more engaging, and more memorable year. In fact, many parents find their children thrive when most of their school year centers around one central theme.

 

God created families. He entrusts precious children whom He loves deeply into the care of their parents and trusts those parents to do a good job. You can trust His judgment in making you your children’s parent and that learning together will enhance your homeschooling experience and family bonds..

 

Are you interested in finding out more about the From Adam to Us Notgrass Curriculum? Use this link to see how this curriculum works in a typical homeschool setting.

 

You can also see the SPED Homeschool Review Crew video review of From Adam to Us here .

 

Please note that some of the links above are affiliate links, and at no additional cost to you, SPED Homeschool earns a commission if you decide to make a purchase after clicking through the link. Please understand that we have vetted this organization, and recommend them because they are a helpful and useful resources for special education homeschooling families, and not because of the small commissions we would make if you decide to buy something through an affiliate link. Please do not spend any money on these products unless you feel you need them or that they will help you achieve the educational goals you have for your homeschooled student.

 

 

 

 

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Four Ways to Help Kids Cope with Grief

Posted on by SPED Homeschool

Sarah Collins, SPED Homeschool Partner Collins Academy Therapy

 

Homeschool families are not exempt from grief. In July, we lost my husband’s grandfather. He passed away after a long life and a very short battle with pancreatic cancer. We were fortunate he lived his last seven weeks in our home. We quickly moved him and his wife of 72 years out of their assisted living home when the COVID-19 pandemic started. When they came to live with us, we worried they were exposed to COVID, but that worry quickly passed, and then he was diagnosed with cancer. Can you imagine the fear, then love, then happiness, then uncertainty, then joy, then sadness that my children felt? As a result, I drew on my background as an Occupational Therapist and am grateful for our choice to homeschool so that we can teach to the heart during our homeschool day.

 

The American Occupational Therapy Association provides a list of recommendations for Occupational Therapists to implement when treating those dealing with grief. Here are four ways to adapt those recommendations to your homeschool:

#1 – Help children get back to regular routines because they have an organizing effect and encourage feelings of well being. Of course, some time off is necessary. However, this works well with our overall philosophy of rhythm vs. routine. We can get back to a rhythm in our day, like morning time together, books at lunch, afternoons outdoors, very quickly.

#2 – Encourage participation in enjoyable but low-stress activities with close friends to minimize feelings of isolation. Being connected with other homeschool families allows kids to divert attention to more pleasurable activities with friends and also gives them a support system to process their emotions.

#3 – Provide creative activities such as art projects and journaling to foster self-expression, which can help with processing strong feelings. Drawing, painting, craftwork, scrapbooking, making memory boards with photographs, and collages naturally lend to meeting the needs of the grieving child (Milliken, Goodman, & Bazyk, 2007). My 11 year old made a photo montage of our time during what we lovingly call the “Collins COVID Cancer Chronicles”. We also spent time reading many picture books to help give a language to grief. Our favorites are The Invisible String, Lifetimes, Badger’s Parting Gifts, and Ida Always.

#4 – Provide activities to do in remembrance of your loved one. What hobbies did they enjoy? Or what memories do you cherish of your time together? Baking cookies, wood-burning, flower arranging, scrapbooking, drawing, and painting were some of the occupations that we have done to help memorialize Pappy and keep our hands busy.

 

Grief is difficult because it is manifested differently in every person. Even though homeschool families are not exempt from loss and grief, we have the advantage of completing meaningful occupations together as a family/ homeschool and within a community.

 

Looking for more encouragement for homeschooling during a tough season? Check out this recent SPED Homeschool mom encouragement blog round-up.

 

 

 

 

 

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Strengthening Family Bonds (Bonus Christmas Reading List)

Posted on by SPED Homeschool

Cheryl Swope, M.Ed., SPED Homeschool Partners – Cheryl Swope Consulting and Memoria Press

“God sets the solitary in families.” (Psalm 68:6)

When we homeschool our children with special needs, we spend tremendous amounts of time together. Sometimes we take this time for granted. Our family has found the need to do more than merely “coast” downhill with all of this togetherness. Our children have autism, mental illness (schizophrenia), and various medical conditions. We often need nurturing ways to strengthen family bonds at a moment’s notice.

 

1. Family walks

The act of putting on coats and boots, scarves and hats, gloves, and mittens seems to signal a change in tone. Leaving the house to go outdoors refreshes our minds and bodies any season of the year.

 

2. Family games

Blocks provide you with everything you need to build a larger page. They contain a variety of content elements, such as images, buttons, headings, and more. These elements are arranged in rows and columns, which provide a useful structure, as well as a sense of balance within the overall composition. You can modify this structure using our intuitive drag and drop interface, which allows you to rearrange content to your heart’s content.

 

3. Family discussions

We might wish problems would silently fade away, but until we talk things through, an undercurrent tugs at all of us and pulls us apart. Talking to resolution yields restoration.

 

4. Family quiet

Sometimes a brief, respectful separation with quiet occupation is the best remedy for spats and squabbles. For us, this seems especially important in the hour after lunch and the hour before dinner.

 

5. Family listening

Years ago I learned while recovering from surgery that when I sit on the sofa with a cup of tea and nothing to do, someone will join me to share thoughts or ask questions. My family wants to be heard.

 

6. Family prayer

When we come together as family members to pray for a neighbor in the hospital, an ailing aunt or uncle, or each other, our hearts and minds unite in strong, profound, and mysterious ways.

 

7. Family read-alouds

Each year as we approach the Christmas season, our family brings out a large bin filled with beautiful Christmas read-alouds. We share this list to enrich and fortify your family time.

 

Christmas Read-Alouds, all available from Memoria Press

Age or Ability 3-5

Age or Ability 6-9

Age or Ability 7-10

Age or Ability 11 and up – because you’re never too old to share a book as a family

 

May the Advent and Christmas season be a time of strengthened family bonds for the sake of your children and your entire family, for “the Lord will give strength to His people; the Lord will bless His people with peace” (Psalm 29:11).

Cheryl Swope, M.Ed., homeschooled her boy/girl twins from infancy through high school graduation. Both twins, now age 25, have autism, specific learning disabilities, and mental illness. With a master’s degree in special education, Cheryl is the author of Simply Classical: A Beautiful Education for Any Child. She is the creator of the Simply Classical teaching resources voted #1 for Special Learners (Memoria Press). Subscribe for free to the encouraging Simply Classical Journal, a print magazine, and catalog dedicated to all children with special needs. Cheryl lives with her husband and adult children in a quiet lake community in Missouri.

 

 

 

 

 

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A Heart Tug: Pulled Toward International Special Needs Adoption

Posted on by Shannon Ramiro

 

Shannon Ramiro

Recently I had the privilege of interviewing a friend of mine, Karrie Cannell, about her international special needs adoptions. I hope you enjoy her story as well as the insight she has to share with other families who may be thinking of adopting a child with a disability from another country.

 

What led your family to do an international adoption?

One morning I was online and came across a little boy’s picture that was listed for adoption. I had never thought about adoption, we had 8 children, so it wasn’t even on my mind. I kept going back to his picture. He had the same skin condition, epidermolysis bullosa (EB for short) as my stepdaughter. I knew I could care for him. I talked to my husband and we talked to our kids, and we all prayed about it. The next thing we knew, we were knee-deep in adoption paperwork.

About halfway through the adoption process, we found out the boy we were looking to adopt had a biological brother with the same skin condition. They had been separated 3 years before. We immediately decided to adopt both boys. About 7 years later we adopted again, and it happened about the same way. Someone knew we had kids with EB and shared a little girl’s picture with me. At first, I was just advocating for her family to come forward. Little did I know I was going to be her momma.

 

Were there language barriers before, during and after the adoption? How did you navigate them?

We didn’t speak Ukrainian and the boys didn’t speak English. We used Google translate at first, but once they were immersed in the English language they picked it up very fast.

With our daughter, we didn’t use Google translate. She was adopted at a much younger age than the boys. Since she was only 3, we just pointed to things and slowly repeated ourselves, speaking to her in English. She picked up English even quicker than the boys did. Looking back, I can see some frustrations when they couldn’t understand or tell us what their needs were, but we didn’t quit. Honestly, it wasn’t terribly hard.

 

What has been the most enjoyable part of being a foster/adoptive family?

It’s different with each child. The boys have significant delays caused by the lack of care from their biological mother and the orphanage. Getting them home and giving them better care all around is my greatest joy. Seeing them enjoy life and experience things for the first time is also a great joy.

For our daughter, she also lived in an orphanage but doesn’t have the mental delays like the boys. She was very young when she came home, so the transition was easier and she was happier. Her joy is infectious and she loves being in our family.

 

“I can see some frustrations when they couldn’t understand or tell us what their needs were, but we didn’t quit.”

 

What was the most challenging part of your international adoption?

The biggest challenge was probably getting the boys the mental help they need. Finding someone who specializes in Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) and truly knowing how to help us was our biggest issue, and still is. It’s been a tough road with the boys, a journey I never knew I needed to be on, but I am so blessed to be where I am at with them.

 

What specific learning challenges have you encountered with your foster/adopted child(ren)? What resources have you found the most helpful in these situations? 

Mental health resources have been our biggest challenge. As the boys get older we have found what works for them and what doesn’t. 

 

What advice do you have for families who are thinking about looking into an international adoption?

I wish we were more informed, educated, and better equipped to help the boys with their mental health issues. There needs to be more resources to help families that are struggling. More respite. More knowledge. More information when you feel alone and lost and feel like you have nowhere to turn.

 

 

 

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Deployed Adoption: Family to Family Active Military Adoption Advice

Posted on by Ashly Barta

 

Ashly Barta

Have you ever felt the longing to add to your family? The thought of adding to your family either by birth, adoption, or fostering can be an important life decision, adding military life into that equation can make it a bit more difficult to navigate.   Military life has its advantages and disadvantages; deployments, frequent moves, financial strain, and little to no family support.

I recently visited with a friend that went through the adoption process while she and her husband were stationed overseas.  Not all adoption agencies are willing to work with couples that are not currently residing in the country so make sure to do your research.  My friends were able to use a social worker local to them in Germany who then worked closely with the adoption agency in the United States to bring about their adoption. 

The adoption process for them was long and hard at times. It consisted of a lot of paperwork and many hoops they had to go through to show they would be good parents.

When I asked my friend what she would want everyone to know about the adoption process, she said, “I would want people to understand that there is a lot of heartache and loss in adoption. The ache of couples just wanting to be a family, the heartbreak of the mother having to make this choice and eventually our little people will have that heartache and loss.” In the end, the gift is so worth it.  Your child is a gift, your love and respect for the birth mother is a gift, and the knowledge gained from the experience is God’s gift.

My friend also spoke to me about the titles they have chosen to use in their adopted family.  We call our guy’s mom, his tummy mommy but as he grows older that may change. She is his mom. She created him and chose to give him life.  We are his mom and dad, we are all he has ever known. So in their house, they have mom, dad, and tummy mom.

“Your child is a gift, your love and respect for the birth mother is a gift, and the knowledge gained from the experience is God’s gift.“

For those wanting to adopt I would suggest looking into all the possible ways you can adopt before deciding on a specific path. Foster to adopt, infant adopting, as well as international adoptions are each unique and not one is right for every family that feels called to adopt. Learn and understand the processes of each before jumping in. Start saving now if you plan to do an infant or international adoption. Look into grants, hold fundraisers, have yard sales, every little penny helps.

Also, make sure to find an agency that truly cares for the expectant mother’s well being. Understand that it can take tens of thousands of dollars to complete an adoption from beginning to end, and in infant adoption, the expectant mother may choose to parent after you’ve been matched and are attached to the idea of this baby being your child.

My friend ended our conversation by stating, “Do not let PCS dates, fear of moving, or fear of deployments stop you from pursuing adoption and/or foster care.  Just as everything else that comes with military life, don’t put things off until you have a better schedule, better job, better location, just let your heart speak for you.”  I have to agree. One call is from higher up the chain of command and He will always work things out for the best.

 

 

 

 

 

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Tips for Getting Things Done in Your Large Family Homeschool

Posted on by Cammie Arn
large family homeschool blog image

 

Cammie Arn

I’m often asked how exactly I do it all. I mean I do have 8 kids, 4 of which are still in my homeschool and 4 who are adults. Parenting doesn’t stop at the diploma, trust me! In addition to homeschooling, I serve on the SPED Homeschool Team, teach a girls small group at church, teach two classes at our weekly co-op, volunteer in the nursery for the local homeschool choir and I work 3 part-time jobs. My husband’s schedule is much the same. I say all this to say that even with all this, I still don’t do it all. No one can. We can only do our best. But there are a few tips for making a large family homeschool run more smoothly.

Tips for Your Large Family Homeschool

 

Large Family Buddy System

This is my biggest secret!
I currently assign two sets of buddies. My children’s ages are 4, 9, 15, and 16, so I usually match my 15-yr-old with my 4-year-old and my 16-year-old boy with the 9-year-old. Currently, my two big kids serve their buddy a meal before serving their own and help with getting clothes out of dressers if the younger child can’t reach.

 

Large Family Laundry

My seasons here have ebbed and flowed as I added babies or sent an older one to work. We have always had 3-4 bedrooms in our home, so I assigned laundry days by the bedroom, leaving sheets and towels for Saturday. The buddy system also comes into play for laundry. The big kids in the bedroom wash and dry or hang out the laundry for the littles. This has greatly cut down on laundry room congestion.

 

Large Family Meal Planning

Planning for meals is crucial. Whenever possible, I cook overnight while I sleep. I generally have several crockpots going at the same time. My last cooking session included pinto beans, potatoes, and spaghetti sauce all cooking at the same time. Then, these meals were packed for lunch or frozen for later. I prep individual ingredients for later use as often as I can, such as, precooked frozen meat, diced pepper, and onions.

My other trick is theme nights. It’s helps the grocery budget too. This is my current routine:

  • Monday Italian
  • Tuesday Sandwich night/Soup and Salad
  • Wednesday Mexican
  • Thursday Breakfast for Dinner/Casserole night
  • Friday Pizza
  • Saturday Chicken/Pork Chops/Roast
  • Sunday leftovers

 

Large Family Homeschool

I schedule the same subjects to be studied across all ages so that I only have to keep up with one lesson plan. The different grade levels come from the depth of the particular assignments, but the content is the same. 

  • My big kids read out-loud to my littles
  • We go to co-op weekly to provide accountability 
  • We take every day as it comes but use scheduled weekly goal sheets for each student
  • I do my very best to not compare my children to each other or other children 

 

Large Family Relationships

Number one rule in our house is to never go to bed angry. I spend a great deal of my time while children are young training them about right from wrong. We do our best to draw any squabble back to the Bible. This includes lots of teaching on forgiveness and the benefit of not holding grudges. We talk about servanthood beginning at home and doing our best to put others needs before our own. Showing kindness, sharing and teamwork is how we roll.

 

The large family homeschool life has its challenges, but with a few simple routines it can run more smoothly. Plus, the rewards of a large family sharing life together make the normal chaos worth every challenge.

 

 

 

 

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A Joyfully “Different” Family Holiday Season

Posted on by Peggy Ployhar
joyfully different holiday blog image

 

Peggy Ployhar

 

Holidays are tricky for families dealing with atypical situations, but that doesn’t mean holidays need to magnify these areas of your family life. Follow these DIFFERENT steps to ensure you won’t miss out on a joyful holiday season with your family.

 

D – Develop a plan

No matter how many activities your family would like to do over the holiday season, take a critical look at your schedule, at what is essential and what isn’t. Purposefully blocking in margin around these essentials reduces stress and the pull towards over-booking holiday activities. Then, discuss as a family what traditions or activities matter most to each of you. Finally, match open dates and times in your calendar with these top traditions/activities.

 

Also realize every year will be different and just because you may only be able to schedule in three or four activities this year, this doesn’t mean next year you will have to do the same.

 

I – Individualize acceptance

Holiday activities are often accompanied by vivid memories and biases on how they should be done or enjoyed. But, when you have a family member who has a disability, sickness, or other struggles that require a holiday tradition to be modified it can be difficult to make the necessary adjustments if you can’t be flexible. Yes, your family tradition may take on a new flavor, but that doesn’t mean the new flavor is worse than the original. It is just different.

 

Over time your family member may be able to adjust to the original way you remember enjoying this holiday activity, or over time the modified activity may become more favored by you and your family than the original.

 

F – Focus on strengths

Holiday celebrations and traditions often stretch relationships, sensory thresholds, and much more. Unfortunately, this stretching can cause contention between family members who only see the weakness others possess in comparison to their strengths. On the other hand, these differences in strengths can be beneficial, gifts that complement other family members in need.

 

Especially during this season of giving, it can be helpful to set aside time to discuss individual strengths and weaknesses of each family member, create awareness, and purposefully work towards strengthening each other by better supporting one another.

 

F – Frame togetherness

Just because your family may want to spend more time together creating memories and doing your favorite holiday activities, it may not be realistic to expect everyone to spend all their spare time together doing these activities, especially when considering the needs of the more introverted and medically fragile members of your family.

 

Framing holiday time together with family members who must build rest into their daily schedules should be prioritized by setting aside not only specific days of the week but also the specific times of day for that rest. For instance, if the morning is the best time of day for your child, then booking a matinee for your family to attend the Nutcracker would be better than holding out for an evening performance like you remember enjoying from your childhood.

 

E – Embrace forgiveness

No one is perfect, and yet we often fantasize about having perfect holiday experiences with our imperfect family and less than perfect self. Realistically it is better to aim for ideal and build a larger buffer of forgiveness and understanding into our holiday planning.

 

Sicknesses, miscommunications, forgetfulness, and the general confusion and chaos which happens during the holiday season typically remind us we need to be okay with allowing wiggle room into our “perfect” holiday plans. This way, we don’t ruin our entire experience because we struggle to see beyond the imperfections and to simply enjoy the experiences we have been given to share with our family.

 

“If we desire to make our holiday season the most joyful season of the year, it is imperative to determine how to love others above traditions, events, or seasonal activities”

 

R – Remember to love

The greatest gift we can give any time of the year is to love others the way we would like to be loved ourselves. It’s not about the gifts we work so hard to hunt down and buy. Sometimes the pursuit of the perfect gift ends up sidetracking us from being anything but loving.

 

If we desire to make our holiday season the most joyful season of the year, it is imperative to determine how to love others above traditions, events, or seasonal activities. Many times, this means we have to sacrifice our wants to love, but this is the exact love that Christmas is all about.

 

E – Enjoy the journey

Joy is essentially the bi-product of where we determine our enjoyment or fulfillment will draw from. If our joy rests solely on the product of our day, or even the season, we do not find fulfillment because life’s twists and turns can keep us from reaching these goals on time or how we had imagined them to turn out. But, if we instead seek to rest our joy on the journey towards reaching our goals, we can more readily find joy in our progress as well as in our relationships we might have otherwise overlooked.

 

During the holiday season, focusing on the joy of the journey can require even more intentional concentration as our days, weeks, and even months have checklists for things we don’t normally prioritize in our lives. This is when getting done what the day allows without sacrificing the joyful journey alongside our family members needs to become an even more intentional practice as well as something we intentionally celebrate throughout the season.

 

N – Non-negotiable relationships

Loving others is difficult and the holiday season often brings our lives closer in proximity to relatives we don’t always associate with regularly. And, while it is important to set boundaries with others, proper boundaries always leave room for any relationship to continue to grow if these individuals make positive changes and establish more healthy habits and boundaries.

 

Everything we can do on our end to leave a relationship open, even if we have to mostly close out a family member because of their personal choices or extenuating circumstances, leaves room for that door to widen once again in the future. We can’t always take on the full weight of what another family member is going through or allow the harmful or unsafe choices immediate or extended family members have made into our homes, but we can show there is always room in our hearts to love beyond these extenuating circumstances.

 

T – Take action

 

Finally, it is important to remember to act and put these practices to work. A plan and good intentions will never lead you to where you want to go. Only by stepping out in faith to approach this holiday season differently and move beyond various obstacles that in the past may have held you or your family back from experiencing joy will the season be the most joyful one you could experience.

 

 

 

 

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joyfully different holiday vertical image

The Greater Benefit of the Homeschooling Journey

Posted on by Peggy Ployhar

 

Peggy Ployhar

Teaching a child how to hike parallels the larger tasks of homeschooling and parenting.  Hiking, as well as homeschooling and parenting, may have many technical pieces of instruction, but never should we dismiss the greater benefit of the journey itself. There is a greater benefit of the homeschooling journey too, and it has more to do with walking the path with our children each day than how well any of us masters the hiking itself.

 

A Family that Hikes Together

Our family has been hiking since before we had kids. My husband and I both came from hiking families. Plus, within a few days after each of our children were born, as an initiation into the family, we introduced them to hiking.

As an infant, our child would ride in a front-pack when we would take off for a nearby trail.  As each child grew bigger, the transition from facing towards one of us in the front-pack to facing out happened around the second or third month.  Next, the child graduated from our front-pack to a more sturdy hiking backpack.

But we did not leave each child in the backpack stage. Instead, we observed that child’s walking acuity.  We paid particular attention to how well the child mastered uneven terrain and how resilient the child was to the occasional fall.  Our oldest was a natural pack mule on the trail and thankfully so because he was as solid as one too. He became rather difficult to carry early as a toddler, and we were all too happy to let him take that stocky frame and carry it on his own two feet.  But his younger brother was completely different. Our second child had difficulty mastering uneven surfaces. He hated walking on grass and especially when he needed to transition from the grass to another type of surface. Thankfully he was extremely light, and we managed well in the need to carry him much longer than his older brother when we went out on our hiking adventures.

Each child’s readiness considered, we still did not transition right away to multi-mile hikes as soon as each started putting their feet to the trail.  Instead, we had each walk part of the way and ride the other. At first we continued to carry an empty backpack and allowed the child to ride when walking became too difficult or was slowing down the rest of the party, but eventually, we transitioned making our shoulders available for the occasional rest.  

 

Hiking Milestones

Not until each child had built up enough personal stamina did we remove the option to ride.  But, getting our children walking on the path by themselves was only the first milestone in teaching them to hike. In the years to follow, as our family hiking continued, we continued to teach our children lessons on the trail.  

Our children learned how to:

  • Plan wisely and pack enough supplies.  Acknowledging your unique needs and properly preparing to address those needs dependent on the conditions of the trail and the length of the hike is extremely important if you are to get the most out of the trip. Ill-preparation can lead to uncomfortable situations and the potential need to make otherwise unnecessary changes.
  • Be considerate of others. No matter who is on the trail with you or who will follow your path consideration is appreciated.  These lessons involved making room for others who are slower or faster than you are and making sure to “leave no trace” so the hike will be equally appreciated by those who follow.
  • Look out for dangerous conditions. Being observant or taking appropriate action when necessary is essential to hiking safety.  From determining an animal and it’s probable proximity from droppings and prints to knowing when to make noises to warn animals of your approach, when to stand still to avoid getting attacked or trampled, and how to protect yourself if caught in a storm are all invaluable lessons to keeping safe on the trail.
  • Enjoy the journey.  Taking time to look up from the trail to watch the wildlife, smell the flowers, take in a scene, or stand in awe of the magnificent beauty that God alone can create so flawlessly has to be cultivated and encouraged. Looking beyond the trail to be immersed in the experiences is the greatest reward a hiking experience has to offer.
  • Cultivate relationships.  Talking on the trail or even sharing long periods of quiet pondering when walking side-by-side with others strengthens relationships.  Hiking parties naturally bond on the trail and these bonds have strengthened relationships in our immediate family and with extended family and/or friends we have hiked with.
  • Never give up. Hiking can be very tiring especially in high-altitude, dry, and steep conditions.  The determination to finish the trail before you start, unless conditions cause a necessary detour, helps for keeping the course when the trail gets the hardest.

 

Greatest Benefit of the Journey

Why do I share these things with you?  Because over the years as our family has taken countless hiking trips from short half-mile hikes in quaint campgrounds to grueling hikes down into the Grand Canyon and up again, there is a wonderful parallel for how teaching our children to hike has mimicked our 17 years of homeschooling and 22 years of parenting. Little by little we have trained our children not only to hike but also how to hike well, and still at the ages of 22, 20, and 14 they continue to do a lot of “hiking” alongside us as we teach them how to best follow the trail God has set before our children in the way they should go. Thankfully they still desire that we keep hiking with them through the ups and downs of their daily lives which has been the greatest benefit of the homeschooling journey.

“Our children still desire that we keep hiking with them through the ups and downs of their daily lives which has been the greatest benefit of the homeschooling journey.“

Our children at the beginning needed us to help them with everything.  But, teaching them the mechanics of life was only the beginning of teaching them all the knowledge that my husband and I had acquired over the years. In fact, we are still teaching our children as they actively navigate much of their trails now on their own. The same is true for homeschooling and parenting.  We teach our children reading, writing, math, and other life skills, but if we stop walking alongside them once we have taught them these things then we miss out on the greatest benefit of the homeschooling journey – the deepening relationship.

 

Path Yet Ahead

My encouragement to you as you look back at your homeschooling and parenting journey so far, and then look forward towards what yet you have to teach, there will always be enough path and time for the lessons that need to be taught as long as you plan wisely and determine to never give up. The key is in teaching the technical lessons that build on mastery and allow time for integration: enjoy the journey, cultivate the relationships, build awareness of potential dangers, and teach your children the importance of the impact God desires to make through them on the world around them.

Thankfully, God provides the trail as well as a continuous stream of supplies. So, as long as we follow His directions every day, we will not get off track or lose our way and our relationships with our children will only grow more strong and beautiful as we walk alongside them on this journey we have the privilege to share.

 

We at SPED Homeschool are so glad you have allowed us to take this journey with you, and we would love for you to share snapshots of what your homeschooling journey looks like.  Feel free to share a picture or story that makes your homeschool unique and beautiful, and let us know if you would allow us to share your story with the SPED Homeschool community.  When we share our stories, we not only gain a greater understanding of one another’s path, but those outside our community will also gain a greater understanding of what homeschooling looks like when a family works to help their child succeed beyond their struggles.

 

 

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