Author: Peggy Ployhar

Peggy Ployhar, SPED Homeschool Founder & CEO, is a leader in the special education homeschooling community and a frequent writer and speaker on special education homeschooling issues.

Unconditional Acceptance: Step 3 in Cultivating Your Child’s Heart for Instruction

Posted on by Peggy Ployhar


By Peggy Ployhar

In the previous article in this series on parenting anger, I mentioned this next step is the glue which helps hold the integrity and authority changes in your parenting in place. Here is why this step plays such an essential role in repairing any disconnect with your child when your parenting anger has caused division in the past.

Judgment by Reaction
Looking at our children through a lens that is not personally judgmental can be very difficult. We tend to have strong feelings for how much we desire to see our children succeed. These strong feelings can easily be read by a child through nonverbal communication. When our body language shows we are nervous, stressed, or even bothered when a child fails, our reaction passes along judgmental overtones. These reactions, if repeatedly observed by a child, will convey a parent’s inability to accept failure even without any verbal communication.

Most of the time when we struggle with accepting our child’s weaknesses, it stems from our own inability to accept our failures. If you struggle in this area, and in accepting yourself for being less than perfect, then the first thing you need to realize is that failure is an essential part of life which helps us, and our children grow and learn.

Embracing Failure
A while back I wrote an article called Failing to Learn where I stressed the importance of learning how to accept failure as part of the learning process so mistakes can be launching points for more learning instead of roadblocks of further exploration and understanding. With each mistake, we are given the opportunity to see how and why we failed. From there, we must choose to take what we learned in failing, and joyfully move forward in the hope that our next attempt will be better than our last based on what we learned in the last go-around.

When we can change our perspective about failure, the mechanics of accepting our children also becomes much easier. We are more prone to say “oops” when mistakes happen. And, our child’s limitations are given flight to become vehicles for greater discoveries.

When we start to make this shift towards accepting a child’s limitations and working on our responses to their failures, we also need to change our approach in how we redirect our child’s reaction to their failures. This is where the big change in your parenting needs to happen to glue all these elements together…and to prepare for the final steps in cultivating your child’s heart.

The Boxing Ring
When a child sees your reactions to their failures as an attack, you, in turn, will become the object for any out-lash in dealing with internal feelings of inadequacy. You essentially become your child’s punching bag because your reaction comes with a dual meaning. First, it conveys to your child you are safe because your love for them is what caused your reaction to their failure, but secondly, you are also an enemy because your reaction has placed you in their battle zone. Thus, instead of your child taking on the real issues he/she is facing, exposed through failure, your child makes the issue about your relationship.

If you were to view this scenario as a boxing ring, your child would be in the battle of life with you in the same ring. There are many things your child battles each day, but your job as a parent was never to be his opponent. Instead, you have been called to be a coach who can provide fighting strategies for all the important things he fights through in life.

Coaching to Success
By accepting your child’s fight as part of the learning process, and your role as the ever-vigilant coach through this training period in your child’s life, your goal will be to remove yourself from the ring by accepting your child and battles they are up against. Win or lose, you must show you are willing to stick it out while learning alongside as to what works and what doesn’t with failure, and success, leading to the winning strategies.

Each time your child tries to get you into the ring, you must make a dedicated effort to keep your feet out of the battle zone. And when needed, calling a “time-out” a break until your child is ready to receive training instead of taking you on in the ring. Over time this process will become easier, especially as your child starts to see the value of having you working with them to fight these struggles instead of being frustrated, embarrassed, or upset when they fail.

Continue to be Encouraged
In my next article, we are going to continue with the next step in the process of cultivating your child’s heart, which is forgiveness. Until then, make sure to keep fighting the good fight alongside your child and make sure you are getting the encouragement you need to keep pressing on. 

One way you can get exclusive resources and a monthly dose of encouragement in your inbox is by subscribing to the SPED Homeschool newsletter. Also, make sure to check out our podcast channel  or download one of the SPED Homeschool Conversations podcasts on iTunes or Google Play for lots of great content to encourage you in your family life, homeschooling, and special needs parenting.

 

 

Check out all of the articles in this series: 

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A Case for Embracing Silliness in Your Homeschool

Posted on by Peggy Ployhar

By Cheryl Swope, M.Ed

Far and few, far and few
Are the lands where the Jumblies live.
— Edward Lear


Amidst all the academic rigor, children need a little nonsense. Not only do we love to hear our children giggle, nonsense stretches a child’s mind. A little silliness can take them to unexpected, liberating places.


Moving the Ordinary into the Extraordinary
We can research scientific strategies to help children prone to cognitive rigidity, but we already have one remedy readily available to us: Silliness! Silliness ameliorates the overly literal mind. Absurdity promotes wonder.

Consider the ridiculously tall tree grown from a single small seed. To a child, this is almost absurdly marvelous. G. K. Chesterton writes, “So long as we regard a tree as an obvious thing, naturally and seasonably created for a giraffe to eat, we cannot properly wonder at it. It is when we consider it as a prodigious wave of the living soil sprawling up to the skies for no reason in particular that we take off our hats….”


Using Song and Rhyme to Stretch Thinking
Perhaps even more directly than the wonders of nature, nonsensical rhymes and silly songs can help suspend a rigid child’s over-reliance on the logical. Consider this:

Hey Diddle Diddle,
The cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon.
The little dog laughed,
To see such fun,
And the dish ran away with the spoon.


The lilting joy of language, the simplicity of rhyme, and the delight of predictable repetition inherent in silly songs and poems appeal to children’s ears:

Lavender’s blue, dilly dilly, lavender’s green,
When I am king, dilly dilly, you shall be queen:
Who told you so, dilly dilly, who told you so?
‘Twas mine own heart, dilly dilly, that told me so.
Call up your men, dilly dilly, set them to work,
Some with a rake, dilly dilly, some with a fork;
Some to make hay, dilly dilly, some to thresh corn,
Whilst you and I, dilly dilly, keep ourselves warm.

When sown as occasionally bright wildflowers into the cultivated soil of a full garden, the child may explore the lively, the implausible, and the unexpected. 


Opening Doors for Spiritual Truth
Over time, this may serve to assist the child’s apprehension of spiritual truths. Chesterton explains, “Nonsense and faith (strange as the conjunction may seem) are the two supreme symbolic assertions of the truth that to draw out the soul of things with a syllogism is as impossible as to draw out Leviathan with a hook.” We read stories from Holy Scripture so that children may become captivated by One greater than our own understanding.

Wonder welcomes us.

We hear the invitation, “Come unto me,” from the very God who became Man. The mystery of the Trinity, the miracle of the incarnation, the depth of the crucifixion, and the transcendent marvel of the resurrection of Jesus Christ for us — all of this is beyond our reason, yet within our grasp by the working of the Holy Spirit.


Developing Hearts and Minds for Wonder
Perhaps we never realized our role in cultivating wonder in our children! As we teach silliness, we accomplish much. This is why we include silly stories, poems, and nursery rhymes in our Simply Classical Curriculum. Not only do we allow our children to improve phonological awareness, but we also let him laugh! More than this, we begin to invite our child to be embraced by that which is greater than his own mind.

Wonder broadens the mind. Specifically, when we teach the marvelousness of God’s Holy Word, we lead our children to be embraced eternally by the One who is truly Wonderful (Isaiah 9:6). “Many, O Lord my God, are thy wonderful works which thou hast done, and thy thoughts which are to us-ward: they cannot be reckoned up in order unto thee: if I would declare and speak of them, they are more than can be numbered.” (Psalm 40:5)

How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God!
How great is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand.
— Psalm 139:17-18


Originally published in The Classical Teacher Winter 2015-16 edition. Edited and reprinted with author’s permission.

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Using Good Stories to Compel Learning for Any Child

Posted on by Peggy Ployhar


By Cheryl Swope, M.Ed

All of our children benefit from hearing good stories. Stories convey messages we need to hear. Some of these messages resonate with our children who face significant challenges or differences in their lives.

Compelling Different Abilities
Some children with special needs can comprehend only those messages conveyed through simple picture books. Let us choose even these books well. In Frederick, by Leo Lionni, we read about a little mouse who cannot assist his family in the usual manner of hard, physical labor. He is not strong like the others. He is not a leader. He is not mighty or impressive. He seems like someone who does not contribute. Instead, in days of distress, little Frederick writes a poem. We feel our hearts warm as Frederick shares his small but unique gift of poetry with his family. (My poetic daughter appreciates this book.)

Compelled Beyond Circumstances
A compelling story can elevate our minds far beyond our circumstances. Perhaps most appealing of all, by connecting us through stories to better understand the human condition, frailty, and redemption, literature reminds us we are not alone.

An older or higher-functioning child may appreciate more complex stories. My son, a young man with autism, learning disabilities, and mental illness (schizophrenia), sometimes wonders about his usefulness in the world. He read A Wrinkle in Time, and he urged me to read it. I finally did. The main character in A Wrinkle in Time, a teenage girl named Meg, is bright in mathematics. However, Meg is “different” in many other ways. Her social difficulties leave her feeling lonely. She gets into trouble at school. “I’m a delinquent,” Meg concludes grimly. Meg grapples with thoughts that waver from honesty to self-pity. “I think I’m a biological mistake.” “I hate being an oddball.” “I try to pretend, but it isn’t any help …”

Meg’s mother tells her, “Oh, my darling …, your development has to go at its own pace. It just doesn’t happen to go at the usual pace.” Later in the story, in the midst of a grave challenge, Meg receives comfort as from an angel: “My child, do not despair. Do you think we would have brought you here if there were no hope? We are asking you to do a difficult thing, but we are confident that you can do it.” As A Wrinkle in Time unfolds, the reader gains wisdom through both the Holy Scriptures and through classical writers. “Nothing is hopeless,” we read from Euripides. Over time, love and loyalty compel Meg to move outside of her own despondency and into active courage.

Meg’s new friend Calvin has delighted in Meg all along, just as we as readers do. Calvin, too, is a little quirky and often felt an outsider. Not any more. Upon meeting Meg and her rather odd family, Calvin exclaims with relief, “Isn’t it wonderful? … I’m not alone any more! Do you realize what that means to me?”
Looking for More Good Stories?
For comprehensive literature lists categorized by a child’s ability, see Simply Classical: A Beautiful Education for Any Child. For good sets of read-alouds see these fiction and non-fiction read-alouds. For a special-needs program uniquely centered on good books, see the new Simply Classical Special-Needs Curriculum.

Stay Connected
Don’t forget to get connected with the SPED Homeschool community on Facebook, YouTube, Podomatic, Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest.

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Humble Authority: Step 2 in Cultivating Your Child’s Heart for Instruction

Posted on by Peggy Ployhar


By Peggy Ployhar

My last article on parental integrity started a mini-series within the larger series of articles I am writing on parenting anger. The reason I have embedded this mini-series within my articles about parenting anger is that children will often close their hearts towards parents who have habitually lashed out at them in anger. Thus, restoration of that parent-child bond becomes essential to the process of healing and moving forward in both your parenting and homeschooling efforts.

A Flipped Perspective
Authority’s orientation from a human perspective is upside down when compared with God’s viewpoint on this issue. After washing his disciples’ feet, Jesus said the following about authority:

“You call Me Teacher and Lord; and you are right, for so I am. If I then, the Lord and the Teacher, washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’ feet. For I gave you an example that you should do as I did to you.” (John 13: 13 – 15)

From God’s point of view, authority comes from the bottom up, not the top down. It is asserted through humble service, not a dictating decree.

An Example of Authority
Consider this example: Say you were starting a new job where you had the ability to pick one of the two managers you could work for, and who would ultimately give authority over your working environment. Here is how Manager A and Manager B say they operate their departments:

Manager A likes everything to be done her way. She has all the processes in place, and that is good because she has spent a lot of time making sure those processes are the most efficient way to do the job. As an employee working for her, Manager A just asks that you follow the procedures, get your work done, and work the system she has developed to the utmost of your capability. She knows her tried and true ways are the best at getting things done and is glad to have you fill one of the roles on her well-oiled team.

Manager B loves to see people work together, so much so he is willing to roll up his sleeves and help when needed. Manager B also has put together some well thought out procedures, but he also knows he can’t think of every scenario where people and processes can be most efficient. Because of this, he desires to get the input from his team members on ways the processes can be improved and built into better and more efficient procedures for getting the job done. He knows each employee can contribute to the working environment, and he welcomes your input as a member of his close-knit team.

Which Would You Choose?
Looking at those two examples, which manager would you give the most authority to by taking the job under his/her command? If you are like most people, you would say Manager B because he leads through humble service, not as a dictator like Manager A.

Unfortunately, angry parents are often stuck in a similar dictating mode like Manager A when it comes to dealing with their children. And, even though they don’t desire to handle interactions with their kids in this manner, sometimes old habits are hard to break. Instead of trying to break an old habit, I found creating a new habit to fill its place was much more effective. Thus, began my servanthood authority turnaround strategy.


A Turnaround Strategy
I created a servant strategy with each of my children by focusing on an activity each boy cared deeply about. For my oldest, that activity was Lego building which I personally found quite enjoyable. But with my second child, playing superheroes and dressing up in costumes was a bit more of a stretch. But, these activities were not about my enjoyment, they had a greater purpose – to connect with my children and show them I was willing to get down on their level to understand them better.

Over time my children started to realize I wanted to interact with them more like Manager B from the example above. When we were spending time playing together, we were also deepening our relationship. These relational bridges developed as we played together strengthened my boys’ abilities in releasing authority of their lives to me. This transition did not happen because I demanded it, but rather because over time each one started to understand I really grasped who they were. Our time interacting helped me to get to the root of what they liked and how they thought, and thus they realized I really did have their best interest in mind when making the decisions I needed to make in parenting and teaching them.

It is never too late to start a turnaround strategy with your child. Be purposeful in building relational bridges by getting involved in what your child is interested in, no matter how much of a stretch that is for you. You will never regret invested time and energy to reconnect with your child.

Check-up and Check-in
When we pick up this mini-series next time, I will be focusing on the topics of love and acceptance and how each of these relational elements will be the glue to hold the integrity and authority you have been working on reorienting in relation to your child.

Until then, make sure to go back through each of the articles in this series (see the list below) and do a quick check-up on how things are going at each phase. Also, make sure to tune into some of our upcoming SPED Homeschool Conversation broadcasts that focus on various topics that will help you teach to the specific needs of your student.

Parenting Anger Series Articles:
Why We Should Be Talking About Parenting Anger 
Parenting Anger Demystified
The Parenting Anger Escape Door
Shifting Parenting Anger from Controlling Mode to Training Mode
How-To Effectively Instill Godly Character in Children Using Parenting Anger 
Integrity: Step 1 in Cultivating a Child’s Heart for Instruction
Humble Authority: Step 2 in Cultivating Your Child’s Heart for Instruction
Unconditional Acceptance:  Step 3 in Cultivating Your Child’s Heart for Instruction   
Forgiveness & Mercy: Step 4 in Cultivating Your Child’s Heart for Instruction
Honor: Step 5 in Cultivating Your Child’s Heart for Instruction  
Time Management: Step 6 In Cultivating Your Child’s Heart for Instruction

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Hands and Feet of Christ for Special Needs Families

Posted on by Peggy Ployhar


By Jennifer Cullimore, The Therapy Mama

I love being with my children, and as a single, homeschooling mama with no family around I am literally with my kids 24/7. However, one Saturday morning a month and for three days in the summer, they are blessed to go to a church program for “Special Saturday” and “Very Special Bible School”. I’ll be honest, I love these days. It just does my heart and soul good to get a little bit of “me” time.

Very Special Vacation Bible School
Today started in a frenzy. We overslept and were frantically trying to get out the door. One of my daughter’s anxiety about leaving me was through the roof. Many tears were shed in the 20 minutes it took us to get ready. Begging ensued to allow her to stay home and yet I had to stand firm.

When we finally arrived this is what I saw. I saw balloons and welcome signs and bubble machines blowing bubbles everywhere. I saw gold stars lining the sidewalk and approximately 30-40 volunteers of all ages waiting to cheer for each child, give them high fives and welcome them. When I hit the door, I saw more than a hundred more volunteers. There were two for each child. They literally stay with their “buddy” for the morning. They take them to set activities, but if the child can’t handle it, they do whatever they are interested in. I saw some meltdowns occurring and the volunteers pulling out all the stops to try every trick they knew to turn the situation around. Today I saw the hands and feet of Christ.

A Little Break Means a Lot
I stood for a while watching a little guy have a rough meltdown and I thought about how much work goes into this ministry. An incredible soul named “Gigi” oversees it. I met Gigi years ago and she has been Jesus with skin to our family. I knew exactly what Gigi would say if I could have stopped her in that meltdown moment to commend her for her work. She would say, “Jennifer, it’s the least we can do when you parents do this every day”.

The truth is, it is hard work. Every single bit of it is hard work. They spend countless hours preparing the facility, training volunteers and most of all preparing hearts. But the blessings are abundant. They get to see the smiles, the laughter, the joy on every face. They get to see moms and dads breathe a sigh of relief knowing that their child is safe and being well cared for. They get to see the camaraderie of the parents watching the other parents and realizing that they are not the only one walking this journey. They get to see the change in the children and volunteers as they are touched by each child. They have a newfound acceptance for others and they are more grateful for their own health and abilities.

Blessed by Being a Blessing
I wish I could spread this news to every church. I’ve encountered so many that want nothing ’t want to modify or change anything. But I wish I could let them know what they could gain by opening their hearts and doors to those with special needs. I wish I could let them know that they would get a very glimpse of the heart of God. For now, I will continue to pray that someday this will be the norm. I will share what special churches, like our “Christ Presbyterian” does and I will show deep gratitude for these angels that have been put in our path to do special needs ministry.

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Teaching Your Child to Write: Pre-Writing Pointers

Posted on by Peggy Ployhar


By Mary Winfield

Teaching a child how to write is one of the biggest focuses we have in education. Children with special needs usually have some stumbling blocks in their way when it comes to learning this important skill. Understanding where your child is developmentally, and then knowing how to work with them starting where they are is integral in teaching them how to write. This is the first post in a series that will outline the major milestones in learning to write to help you identify your child’s needs.

Before children learn how to write, they have to learn a few other skills first. Most children develop these skills pretty naturally, but breaking down the writing process will help with identifying specific sub-skills and how to help children develop them.

Fine Motor Skills
The biggest obstacle to pre-writing skills is an underdeveloped set of fine motor skills. In order for a child to be able to hold a writing utensil and have control over what that pencil or crayon does, he or she needs to have developed the ability to use their fingers and hands in complex ways. There are many ways you can encourage this development with things you already have around your house. Here are some ideas:

Pinching Tools
Using tweezers or clothespins to move objects can be done in many different ways. Use pom poms, small toys, small items of food, or anything else you have around the house. Having a child move objects with a tweezers or clothespins might be frustrating at first, but keep practicing!

Stickers
Stickers actually take a lot of fine motor abilities. Having a child peel the stickers off the paper on their own and then put them on a paper (following a circle or zigzag line you draw on the paper is even better) is another way to promote fine motor development.

Eyedroppers
Using an eyedropper to fill up a small container (or even the tops of Duplo Blocks works too) is a great way to keep a child engaged in fine motor learning.

Threading
You can use actual threading cards made for this purpose, but you can also put beads on yarn, penne pasta on spaghetti, pipe cleaners in a colander, or anything else you can think of to do.

You can find more ideas on our Pinterest boards for Handwriting and OT to help you in this area.

Writing Roadblocks
Another thing that your child may have to learn is actually using a writing utensil for its intended purpose. My son had a hard time with this aspect of learning to write. There are many reasons that your child might be struggling.

Fear of Mistakes
I think my son still fits into this category. When we color or paint or write, he always just wants to dictate to me what parts of the picture need to be each color. He sees things exactly how he wants them to be in his head, and he knows that he is more likely to get outside the lines or not execute it perfectly because of his fine motor skills, so he won’t even try. We still struggle with this, but I have found printing off two of the exact same coloring pages online and having one that I do the way he wants it to be helps him overcome this problem. He knows he will get one that is exactly how he wants it, so he is more willing to try himself.

Need for Modifications
Some people need modifications made to the writing utensil to make it more comfortable. There are pencil grips that help with this, and they come in different shapes to meet different needs. There are also crayons that are bigger that are helpful for people who are really struggling to hold a writing utensil.

Lack of Interest
Some children are just more interested in writing than other kids. This is okay! Finding things a child cares about and using those interests in learning to write will help a child stay focused for longer periods of time.

Practice Activities
Understanding that writing has a purpose beyond scribbling or coloring might be another obstacle to overcome. In order for children to be able to write letters, they need to have the focus and dexterity to copy shapes. Here are some activities that might help them develop this understanding:

Push-Pin Maze
Put paper on a small bulletin board and then put push pins through the paper. Have them draw around these obstacles to make it from one side of the paper to the other.

Tracing Activities
There are a lot of free printables online with very simple tracing activities so a child can practice copying strokes.

Art Books
“Learn to Draw” books are great for writing stroke practice as long as they are very, very simple (or better yet, make your own where you draw a snake or a beach ball in 3 steps for your child to follow).

Sing & Draw
The song “Do As I’m Doing” can also be modified from gross motor activities to fit with drawing shapes. This activity works especially well with children who respond positively to music.

No matter what your child’s struggle is, don’t give up hope. Accept where they are in their process, and work with them at that stage. If you don’t get discouraged and keep working with them, they will learn to not give up as well.

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Global Trends in Special Education Homeschooling

Posted on by Peggy Ployhar

By Peggy Ployhar
 
Often when we write or talk about homeschooling in the United States, we see it through the lens of our surrounding established homeschooling landscape. Earlier this month (May 2018), I had the privilege of speaking at the Global Home Education Conference in Russia where my lens was greatly adjusted.

While in Russia, I heard many countries present on the current state of homeschooling in their homelands. Additionally, I had the chance to speak with researchers and hear about some of the latest data being gathered from all over the world regarding various homeschooling practices, laws, and trends.

It would be impossible to share with you all I learned, especially since I will probably be processing much of it for a long time into the future, but I have decided to specifically share some trends that surfaced during the GHEC 2018 conference in relation to special education homeschooling.

5 Worldwide Special Education Homeschooling Trends

1 – 35% Special Education Homeschool Rate in North America
In speaking with leaders and policy makers, many leaders shared with me they were seeing a special needs rate between 33% to 37% in their homeschooling population. And although these figures didn’t surprise me, the fact these leaders were throwing these numbers out without me asking communicated how pressing this issue was with the homeschoolers they were seeking to support.

2 – #1 Reason to Homeschool in the U.K.is Special Educational Needs
As the representative from the United Kingdom presented the state of homeschooling in his country, one of his slides gave percentages his organization had gathered relative as to why parents in his country choose to homeschool. The number one reason given was “Lack of provision for child’s SEN (Special Educational Need).”

3 – Special Educational Needs are the 2nd Most Influential Catalyst in the Russian Homeschooling Movement
Homeschooling in Russia is on an explosive growth pattern for many reasons, but one presenter at the GHEC 2018 stated that “Just behind the lack of proper education for remote village children, the second most influential factor had to do with inadequate means for the Russian schools for teaching children with special learning/behavioral needs.

4 – Canadian Homeschooling Trend: Special Needs Rates One of the Top Three Reasons to Homeschool
In the report given on North America’s homeschool status, the Canadian representative pointed out that the top 3 reasons parents in Canada are choosing to homeschool were because of bullying, special needs, and the public schooling agenda being taught.

5 – Research on Homeschooling’s Differentiated Education Continues to Be an Optimal Choice for Children with Learning Challenges
The largest segment of data presented at GHEC 2018 in relation to special needs came from the researchers who presented new and past studies on the how love, differentiated instruction, child­-paced lessons, interest-focused learning, and teaching with immediate feedback create an optimal learning environment for any child, but especially a child who struggles.
 

The Increase is Evident
There is no doubt that the shortcomings of institutionalized special education are causing the increase in parental choice for homeschooling. Add to this increase the current rise in learning and behavioral issues among children, coupled with the inability for schools worldwide to provide the specialized instructions needed by these students, and we better understand why homeschooling is increasing in the special educational realm.

As this population grows, so does the need for reliable and consistent support, resources, and training. This community covers a vast spectrum, from gifted and 2E learners to children with extreme challenges who progress so slowly in learning new concepts that from the outside it may not seem like they are progressing at all.

Coming Together to Support More Families
The need is huge…no it is colossal. But, thankfully those burdened to help these special needs homeschooling families are also increasing in number. It is the goal of our organization, SPED Homeschool to unite those burdened to help these families so we can save their time, energy, and money while teaching to the specific needs of their child, no matter where in the world they live or what means they possess to teach their children.

How about you?

Are you homeschooling a child with special learning needs and in need of support, encouragement, and resources? Then we would love to have you join our support group, check out our website, our podcasts, our videos, and our Facebook page on a regular basis for new content, use our Pinterest recommendations, and sign up for our newsletter.

Or maybe you are looking to further support the special education homeschooling community through your experience as a veteran sped homeschooling parent. If that is the case, I would ask you to prayerfully consider joining our team and then filling out this application if you feel led to do so.

Other ways you can help our outreach is by becoming a donor partner with a one-time or on-going gift; partnering with us in prayer for our needs and outreach through our new prayer calendar; or become a partner organization so we can tell our community about a service or product you provide that is beneficial to special education homeschooling families (It is free, just fill out this short-questionnaire and upload a logo or image we can use on our website.)

 
Looking Ahead
The growing number of special education homeschooling families around the world does not need to be a concerning trend. Instead, this movement is creating learning environments for children that really work…one child at a time. My prayer, as I look into the future and what kind of report will be brought to the Global Home Education Conference in two years (GHEC 2020) in the Philippines regarding special education homeschooling is that the concern currently felt for these families will be replaced with the excitement of a growing movement that is unified and empowered to teach each struggling learner in the manner they were designed to flourish and reflect the image of God into this world.

 

 

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Integrity: Step 1 in Cultivating a Child’s Heart for Instruction

Posted on by Peggy Ployhar

 

By Peggy Ployhar

In my last article in this series, I stated, “Instilling truth into a child’s heart depends on how prepared his/her heart is to receive truth.” Therefore, my next six articles in this series will focus on practical ways to cultivate a child’s heart for truth. I will base everything I discuss in this cultivating section of the series upon the previous methods I have shared in the earlier articles of this parentinganger series.

My prayer is as we slowly work through each of these steps, you will find how practical and healing God’s way of handling our parenting anger can be when we use it towards building godly character in our children. Also, as you apply each of these cultivating steps, you will see how they work to bridge relational gaps that parenting anger may have created in your home. So, we start with ourselves: parental integrity.

Integrity and Trust
The reason I start with integrity is because a child only accepts a parent’s instruction as much as they can trust that parent. Also, integrity is essential in breaking the protective crust a child builds up when situations have trained them to distrust…which often happens when a child lives with a parent who has a short fuse.

If a child can trust their parent, they will gladly absorb what that parent has to teach. Everything we teach our children hinges upon how much they trust us. If we cannot work on this basic foundation of our relationship with our child, much of our homeschooling and parenting instruction will be for naught. We are also more likely to see our children look to other places for truth instead of looking to us. Over time the relationships we were hoping to so tightly control with our misdirected anger will be the first things we lose the ability to influence.

An Integrity Check
A person of integrity is someone who can be trusted to do what they say they will do. They are not someone who uses excuses and their actions and lives are aligned with the priorities they say they value. Day in and day out, no matter what, a person with integrity can be trusted. This doesn’t mean they are perfect, but it means they are trying all the time.

Let me ask you, is this how your children see you? Do you live in a manner consistent with your public persona? Or, do you change your character once you get behind closed doors or within the sanctuary of your home and family?

Children will determine how trustworthy their parents are based on what they see them do and how they live either according to their word or apart from it. What a parent says about who they are holds negligible weight if it differs from how their child sees them behave.

Reversing Your Parental Integrity
As a young parent, I did a very poor job of establishing integrity with my children. My anger was the biggest obstacle to developing integrity with my children because while I would tell them I loved them, I would not act in accordance with my words when I blew my top.

As I started sorting out my anger issues, I made a concerted effort to build up my integrity in the eyes of my children. To do this, I first created a mantra, “I love you no matter what.” And then I lived it out, by God’s grace, one day at a time…praying a lot along the way. I followed the process of taking steps to work through my anger episodes just as I talked about in the previous articles in this series (see the listing below at the bottom of this article).

My oldest son tested this fresh approach more than his siblings because he and I shared many ugly battles where I could not keep my integrity in check. Yet, every time he pushed me, I followed the pattern of identifying my trigger, keeping myself busy and praying, looking for God’s escape door, shifting my focus, and seeking the lessons that needed teaching while telling him, “I love you no matter what.”

I wish I could say my son started believing me right away, but it took months of repeating this cycle and him testing the boundaries of my ability to act towards him just as I said I would. But then the day came and the memory of this transformation in his heart still brings tears to my eyes.

It was a beautiful summer day, and we were outside playing in the yard when my son again tested my integrity boundaries. I can’t even remember what he did, but what I remember was what he did and said after I told him, “I love you no matter what,” and followed through with my anger in check.

He put his chubby hands on his hips and looked straight into my eyes and said to me, “You really mean it don’t you?” From that day on things changed in how I could speak into my son’s life. No, he didn’t stop testing my boundaries, but he started trusting me.

I encourage you if you feel like all hope is lost with your children because of your past inability to handle your anger. There is a way to repair those relational gaps and instilling integrity is the first step in the healing process.

Stay Connected with SPED Homeschool
Next time I will talk about authority and how to practically work on establishing a godly form of authority in your home that will strengthen the integrity bridge you are working on.

Until then please make sure to connect with us at SPED Homeschool on our  weekly live Facebook broadcast, in our support tribes , or by emailing us with any questions you would like to have us help you walk through as you homeschool your child with special educational needs.

 

 

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Classical Education Can Benefit ANY Child

Posted on by Peggy Ployhar

By Cheryl Swope, M.Ed
 
Some parents and educators have the misconception that classical education is only for “smart kids.” It is not difficult to understand why someone might think this way. Latin at age 8? Herodotus by 14? With such standards, one might reason, surely classical education is only for born geniuses – the brightest and best of our children. Certainly, for advanced performance at the highest levels of classical study, this theory has some merit. But what about those children who are not born geniuses? What about those who, far from being intellectually gifted, are living with cognitive challenges, language disorders, or physical disabilities? Does classical education have anything to offer them? Can classical education benefit all children?


 An Example of Classical Education
No doubt Helen Keller’s concerned parents asked the same question back in 1887. Their young daughter was deaf, blind, and had a severe “behavior disorder.” Distraught and fearful for the little girl’s future, as most parents would be, the Kellers hoped that Helen might somehow receive an education. In the late 1800’s, this meant a classical education. Helen Keller began her adapted classical education at the age of six with her private teacher Annie Sullivan. Although no one could predict the eventual outcome, the Keller family embarked on this ambitious, beautiful journey nonetheless. And the world received captivating evidence that classical education truly can benefit any child despite his or her challenges.

In her later adult years, Helen Keller departed in some ways from the philosophies of classical Western civilization, but her story remains an important one as we explore how classical education can benefit any child. After all, Helen Keller’s education more than a century ago mirrors the classical education of today. As soon as language unlocked Helen’s young mind, Annie Sullivan taught Helen the same academic content other classically-educated children learn, but through patient, untiring finger-spelling into Helen’s hand. From ages 8-10, Helen studied Geography and History. She read of Greek heroes and the classical ancient civilizations. She enjoyed beautiful language through good literature. She read poetic selections from the Old and New Testaments, Lamb’s Tales from Shakespeare, A Child’s History of England By Dickens, Little Women, Heidi, The Swiss Family Robinson, and countless other books which could still be found on the library shelves of any classical school today. Helen treasured her books: “I accepted them as we accept the sunshine and the love of our friends.”


The Ups and Downs of Different Special Education Approaches
From the ages of 11-13, Helen learned Latin from a Latin scholar and French in raised print. She studied more advanced histories of Greece, Rome, and the United States as Annie continued to spell lessons into Helen’s hand. By age 16, Helen read works in the original Latin and German, and at age 20 she enrolled at Radcliffe where she read literature in French, studied World History, read poetry critically, and learned advanced English composition.

Helen’s only real academic failure came when she was 17. One of her teachers made some common errors with this special-needs child, mistakes which continue to be made in many educational settings today. First, the teacher determined that Helen must devote herself only to those areas in which she was weakest, namely physics, algebra, and geometry. Moreover, he taught these subjects in a large classroom without necessary modifications. (For example, he wrote visual geometry proofs on the board with no means for Helen to follow along.) As a result, Helen required additional instruction with a tutor before she could enter Radcliffe as previously planned.

From Rich Classics to Limited Options
Looking back over her education, Helen later wrote, “From the storybook Greek Heroes to The Iliad [read in Greek] was no day’s journey, nor was it altogether pleasant. One could have traveled around the world many times while I trudged my weary way through the labyrinthine mazes of grammars and dictionaries….” Helen received a remarkable classical education, because her parents and her teachers bonded together to help her, and she persevered. Although her disabilities remained with her all her life, so did her love for literature: “When I read the finest passages of The Iliad, I am conscious of a soul-sense that lifts me above the narrow, cramping circumstances of my life. My physical limitations are forgotten—my world lies upward, the length and the breadth and the sweep of the heavens are mine!”

If classical education could give Helen Keller the tools to overcome great obstacles and embrace the “sweeps of the heavens” so many years ago, why do even less-severely handicapped special-needs children fail to receive such a bountiful classical education today? Largely, the answer is simply historical timing. At the turn of the century, as special education grew in acceptance, classical education began to wane. In the 1930’s, “the height of classical study in the United States in sheer numbers,” nearly one million students studied Latin annually. By the 1970’s, so-called progressive and experimental education dominated. About this same time, just as classical education had all but disappeared, the landmark special education legislation Public Law 94-142 passed in the United States. This law mandated public education for all handicapped children. Public, yes, but often much less effective and far less beautiful.

Issues with a Misdirected Educational Focus
Today, much of “regular education” has strayed so far from the pursuit of that which is significantly true, good, and beautiful, many special-needs or struggling children who have been placed in remedial or even age-based classrooms receive little that is inspiring, excellent, or formative. In the past, even “basic” education meant purposeful instruction in the three arts of language: Grammar — including reading, Latin, spelling, penmanship, and composition; Logic – analysis, reasoning, and discernment; and Rhetoric – persuasive eloquence in both speaking and writing. A good liberal arts education also included the four arts of mathematics: Arithmetic (number), Geometry (number in space), Music (number in time), and Astronomy (number in space and time). These seven liberal arts developed the mind and provided the student with essential tools for learning. Intrinsic to his learning, the student also studied history, good literature, and art, all for the formation of a strong mind and noble character. Throughout the centuries, catechesis – teaching the faith – has also been urged alongside the liberal arts, for matters of the soul.

Instead, today the ideal in special education is “individualized instruction, in which the child’s characteristics, rather than prescribed academic content, provide the basis for teaching techniques.” Worse, in some special education teacher-training programs, not only progressivism and pragmatism but also fatalistic, dehumanizing behaviorism dominates. The child’s mind and soul are forgotten.


The Whole Person Approach to Education
The special-needs child’s humanity – any child’s humanity – must determine the education he receives. Some suggest that as many as 1 in 5 children have special educational needs. Each of these children is a human being, created in the image of God. Shall we assign all of these students to a menial, servile education and deny them the riches of a beautiful, humane, liberating education? And, worse, shall we base our deterministic placements on early testing, with no regard to what the child might be able to overcome with the aid of an excellent teacher?

Quintilian wrote, “There is no foundation for the complaint that only a small minority of human beings have been given the power to understand what is taught them, the majority being so slow-witted that they waste time and labor. On the contrary, you will find the greater number quick to reason and prompt to learn. This is natural to man….Dull and unteachable persons…have been very few. The proof of this is that the promise of many accomplishments appears in children, and when it fades with age, this is plainly due to the failure not of nature but of care. `But some have more talent than others.’ I agree: then some will achieve more and some less, but we never find one who has not achieved something by his efforts.”


A Larger Perspective on Special Education
Regardless of his challenges, any child is called to do more than receive services; he is called to love and serve his neighbor. Even if he is never able to hold a full-time paying “job,” classical education can help the special-needs child bring purpose, love, or comfort to his parents. He is a student with lessons to learn, teachers to respect, and parents to honor. He is a young man who holds the door for aging members of his congregation. She is the person who thoughtfully replenishes a dog’s fresh water bowl while her neighbor is away at work. She is a sister, granddaughter, or niece with the high calling of gracious and tender service, as God works through her for His loving purposes.

We see uniquely converging opportunities at this time in history. Information abounds on special-needs and struggling learners. Classical education enjoys a re-emergence in numerous and growing pockets, for the youngest children all the way through university levels. Abundant resources now offer instruction in Latin, the history of ancient civilizations, the mathematical arts, and more, at every level and with any amount of repetition and practice the child needs. Teachers, homeschooling parents, tutors — anyone who seeks to teach any child — can find helpful curricula for adapting reading, composition, Greek, music theory, literature, logic, and rhetoric. Perhaps the child will eventually prove incapable of progressing to advanced levels in one area or in every area; however, if taught slowly, patiently, and systematically, even those children who are identified with or suspected of having “special learning needs” can receive a substantial, elevating, and beautiful education.

Classical education can address any child’s challenges and cultivate in him a lifelong appreciation for lasting Truth, Beauty, and Goodness. Modifications can help with behavioral and neurological difficulties, language and sensory challenges, specific learning disabilities, and even severe mental illnesses. Be encouraged. Any child can receive the great benefits of classical education: greater self-knowledge, timeless tools for learning, a more disciplined mind, a love of study, and a dedicated life of service. Classical education is a beautiful gift to your child, and he can say with Helen Keller, “My world lies upward, the length and the breadth and the sweep of the heavens are mine!”

This article is an excerpt from Cheryl Swope’s book Simply Classical: A Beautiful Education for Any Child

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How to Gracefully Transition Your SPED Homeschool into the High School Years

Posted on by Peggy Ployhar


By Peggy Ployhar

How NOT to Transition
I wish I could say I was calm, cool, and collected when I transitioned my oldest into high school, but I wasn’t. Instead, I was a massive bundle of nerves.

To make matters worse, in my pursuit to try to turn my frenzied state into a systematic approach for the upcoming transition, I signed up to attend a “How to Homeschool High School” workshop for typical students. I subsequently left that full-day seminar almost in tears because I felt the outline I had been given to follow was a near impossible task to require from my son.

Needless to say, I have made it through the high school years now with two struggling learners and am on the home stretch in homeschooling my youngest who challenges me on the other end of the spectrum as a gifted learner.

Over the years, I have learned a lot of lessons about what is really important to know when making a transition into high school for an atypical student and what you need to throw out the window OR put off until a later day so you don’t lose your mind.

Below are my biggest transitioning tips I want to pass along so you don’t have to make the same mistakes I made.

10 Tips for Making Your Homeschool Transition to High School Successful

1 – Start with the Right Perspective and Make a Preliminary Plan
To start out your 1st year of homeschooling high school, in a much less stressful state than I did, here are 5 perspective setting points to guide you.

  1. Focus on where your child is at NOW, not where you wish they would have been when starting their high school transition.
  2. Develop GENERAL graduation expectations you and your spouse feel your student MUST accomplish before you will allow him/her to receive a diploma
  3. Include your student’s aspirations, skills, and interests in your plan.
  4. Don’t even look at putting together a transcript until the end of your 1st year. This time delay will allow you to get a better handle on what pace your child can keep, and it will put a lot less stress on both of you as you during this transition year.
  5. Each year focus on 3 main goals and make those goals measurable and relative to the items you have determined above in your preliminary plan. Fill in with other classes and learning activities once you feel your student is making progress on these critical goals.

 

2 – Take One Year at a Time
It would be wonderful if we and our children had a clear-cut idea of where their lives are headed once they transition out of high school, but very few do. Instead of setting your plan up for failure by laying out a 4-year transition plan before you start your first year of homeschooling high school, it is best to write your plan one year at a time with a projected outcome you can tweak along the way.

I would also warn against not having a plan at all. Check out this short video for a bit more information on how to go about creating a 4-year transition plan one year at a time, while still maintaining a focus on your student’s education. This video will take you through how I took one year at a time in teaching my oldest child.

Homeschool High School Plans

3 – Develop Your Whole Child Through the Process
Too often the high school years get so overloaded with academics, we sometimes forget how important the non-academic parts of our student’s education are. Teaching a young adult how to cook, clean, do yard work, maintain a budget, develop their own faith life, drive, work with other people, and so many other adulting life skills will round out your student for everything life will require of them after they graduate.

4 – Follow the Checklist
We at SPED Homeschool have developed a  SPED Homeschool High School checklist to help parents easily remember all the important things to keep in mind or know when homeschooling a student with special educational needs through high school.

5 – School However Long It Takes
High school for many students with special needs or learning disabilities goes beyond their 18th birthday. In most states, you can homeschool your student as long as you deem necessary for their transition into post-high school life. You will want to check with your state homeschool laws  or HSLDA to ensure this is the case for your state, but also keep in mind that the IDEA allows for students to receive special education services up to age 21 (22 in some states), so many states allow the same at least for homeschooled students.

To further encourage you on this point, I suggest watching this video entitled “Is 18 the Magical Graduation Age?”

Is 18 the Magical Graduation Age?

 

6 – Don’t Be Afraid to be Creative
One thing too many parents do without even realizing it is move towards a more formal approach to education when their student enters their high school years. Just because high school is taught in traditional schools with a more compartmentalized approach, that doesn’t mean you have to force your homeschool to mimic a traditional school for your student to receive an adequate education.

 

I used unit studies all the way through high school with my oldest child, and doing so offered him the hands-on approach he needed to stay engaged with his learning. If you want to find out more about how to homeschool high school using unit studies, watch this video.

 

 

 

Unit Studies in High School

 

7 – Don’t Let the Transcript Hold You Captive
The high school years can be a great time for your student to discover what they love to do and what they don’t. Taking a less rigid approach to homeschooling in high school will allow your student to learn some new skills without feeling like a slave to them if they end up not being his cup or tea. At the end of the year, it is much easier to clump a series of related learning activities into a creatively labeled class instead of forcing your student through an entire year of learning a particular aspect of a subject he lost interest in back in October.

 

8 – Derailments Happen
In some cases, things happen during your student’s schooling career that keeps her from obtaining all the plans you had hoped she would achieve during her homeschool high school career. When this happens you must remember this derailment doesn’t mean you have failed your child or her future will be bleak because her education has been derailed.

 

I say this all calmly now, but when my second oldest told me he was done with school at age 16, I was anything but calm. To read more about that story and how God has been working out his plan through that derailment, read my article “When Your Student Derails Your Homeschool High School Plan.” 

 

 
9 – Keep the Bigger Picture Always in Front of You
When you start to stress, take a step back and make sure you are not stressing over the small stuff. Pray, ask God for a renewed perspective, and remember to give the most attention to helping your student achieve his main three yearly goals. The rest will fall into place when you keep your focus and trust in God to help you through each step of these homeschooling years.

 

10 – Stay Connected
You can’t do this alone because it is too easy to think you are the only one struggling to teach your student day in and day out. You need fellowship! The SPED Homeschool Tribes are a great way to connect with other parents who understand what it’s like in your homeschool because they live out the same scenarios in theirs.

 

If you follow these 10 tips you will be able to transition into these wonderful years with your student much more gracefully than I did. I have to say these were my favorite years of homeschooling my boys because I was front and center in their lives as they moved from being children to adults. I pray your years ahead will be equally blessed as you persevere forward into your own homeschooling high school years.

 

 

 

 

 

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