Years ago, a fellow homeschooling mom stopped by with her boys, so our kids could have a playdate and we could spend a few hours enjoying some coffee and fellowship. I didn’t know this woman very well, but as we spent the afternoon getting to know one another, she offhandedly said to me, “Sometimes I just get so angry with my kids.” It seemed she was taken aback that she had let those words slip out of her mouth until I quickly returned by saying, “I know. I have the same struggle.”
The Struggle is Real
Unfortunately, my open self-disclosure was not how this new friend had expected me to respond. She had braced herself for not being understood, or even worse a condemning remark. It’s not a wonder why parenting anger is not a commonly discussed topic among homeschoolers or even parents in general.
To act shocked about anyone’s struggle with sin is unbiblical. 1 Corinthians 10:13a clearly states that “No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face.” And, to think just because a subject is not discussed, it is not an issue, wouldn’t explain why my anger talk “Be Angry…And Train Your Kids” is the most well-attended of all my talks when I’m speaking at a conference.
Unfortunately, living in a Pinterest-perfect and Facebook-friendly world, we have lost touch with how imperfect we really are, and how much we need to be real with one another AND be real about our imperfect and fallen nature. Masking sin gets us nowhere. Only when we can admit the error is within us and it needs to be fixed, can we open our lives up to the healing and repair only God can do to change our sinful ways.
A Story of Healing
I would love to tell you my struggle with parenting anger was not destructive to my relationship with my children when it was at its worse, but I can’t. I vividly remember the days when my children feared me. I would turn in shame and cry out to God to save me from my inability to control my outbursts. In those dark days, I saw no hope for change and no possibility for badly damaged relationships to heal. I searched and prayed desperately for God to do something…and slowly He did.
My story of healing and being taught by God how to harness my anger is an amazing testimony of God’s grace and His ability to make something beautiful out of a mess that seemed beyond repair. I can truly say with great conviction “…God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
The refreshing part of giving my testimony is the hope I can share with others who find themselves stuck in this same struggle.
For these reasons, over the next few months, I will be writing a series of articles about parenting anger. I will be sharing with you what I learned about myself, what I learned about God, what I learned about my children, and how all this knowledge was brought together by God’s wisdom and grace to restore our family and lead us towards God’s bright future.
Truly only God can take a situation that seems bleak and beyond repair and turn it into a tool He can use to heal broken relationships. I can’t wait to get started. I hope you will join me throughout this series and prayerfully consider who you can share these articles with.
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Check out all of the articles in this series:
- Why We Should Be Talking About Parenting Anger
- Parenting Anger Demystified
- The Parenting Anger Escape Door
- Shifting Parenting Anger from Controlling Mode to Training Mode
- How-To Effectively Instill Godly Character in Children Using Parenting Anger
- Integrity: Step 1 in Cultivating a Child’s Heart for Instruction
- Humble Authority: Step 2 in Cultivating Your Child’s Heart for Instruction
- Unconditional Acceptance: Step 3 in Cultivating Your Child’s Heart for Instruction
- Forgiveness & Mercy: Step 4 in Cultivating Your Child’s Heart for Instruction
- Honor: Step 5 in Cultivating Your Child’s Heart for Instruction
- Time Management: Step 6 In Cultivating Your Child’s Heart for Instruction
- Changing Parenting Anger Through Prayer
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