Tag: mental health

When Your Homeschool Journey Involves Mental Health Challenges

Posted on by SPED Homeschool

 

by Natalie Vecchione, from FASD Hope

 

Note–I’m writing this article as a parent advocate. I am not a medical professional nor a clinical  expert. I am not providing any medical or legal advice and I do not intend this to replace clinical or medical counsel. This post is for informational purposes only. This post does not take the place of professional counseling or medical help. 

 

Since 1949, May has been established as Mental Health Awareness Month, a time to raise awareness about mental health, provide support, fight stigma and advocate for the millions of children, teens, and adults with mental illnesses (source NAMI.com). Mental Health is critical to overall health. Just as you would not let an individual with diabetes or asthma go untreated, it’s important to seek evaluation, treatment, and accommodations of those with mental health disorders.  

 

Children and youths with complex needs are those between the ages 5-21 who have both a developmental or intellectual disability and a mental health diagnosis. The prevalence of those with both a developmental disability (DD) or intellectual disability (ID) and a mental health diagnosis is much higher than you might expect. A conservative estimate of those with both a DD or ID and a mental health diagnosis is between 32-50% (socialworktoday.com). Also of note, the CDC estimates 1 in 6 children aged 2-8 years old has a mental, behavioral or developmental disorder and those statistics increase as children become adolescents. Other factors can exacerbate mental health disorders, such as trauma, having a long-term illness or a change in the home environment. Mental Health Disorders can also occur alone in children and teens who may not have other diagnoses. 

 

What does this mean for parents? Since children and teens with special needs can be more likely to have a mental health diagnosis, it’s important for parents to be aware, informed, and prepared about their children’s mental health and where to look for support and resources. As the parent of a young adult with both a developmental disability and a mental health diagnosis, I can tell you that systemic misunderstanding, lack of resources, lack of trained professionals and stigma are daily struggles for kids and teens with complex needs and their families. 

 

What are some things that I want you to know, as a mom of a young adult who has both a developmental disability and a mental health diagnosis who successfully completed homeschool almost 2 years ago? 

 

  • Homeschooling is a WONDERFUL accommodation for kids with developmental disabilities or brain-based diagnoses and mental health diagnoses. The complex needs of our kids can make traditional school a struggle, and homeschooling allows us to meet our kids where they are at and accommodate their needs.
  • Often, what you may perceive as willful behaviors in a child or teen with a brain-based diagnosis and or mental health diagnosis are instead behavioral symptoms show dysregulation or the need for treatment, care and accommodations. It is often said that “the children and teens who need the most love and help will often ask for it in the most unloving ways”.  
  • I learned this the hard way. Have GRACE with your child who is coping with a mental health diagnosis. You can’t discipline a diagnosis, illness or disability! You can find medical support, treatment, medications, therapies, and accommodations.  
  • This journey can be very isolating. Parent support groups, peer mentors and ministries in mental health can help lessen the isolation. 
  • This journey is also filled with stigma. Unfortunately, many still view mental health disorders as shameful and shocking. Having a mental health disorder is a medical condition and medical conditions are to be properly treated!
  • One resource that truly helped my family and myself to understand mental health, and when a situation becomes an emergency, was through taking an 8 hour “Mental Health First Aid” course. Mental Health First Aid is “a skills-based training course that teaches participants about mental health”. You can learn more at mentalhealthfirstaid.org 
  • Another wonderful resource has been our faith-based family therapist. Steve has walked alongside our family for the past 3 years and we are so blessed that he has helped our son, and our family, make such progress while growing in our faith and hope!  
  • A few of my mom friends who understand the complex needs of parenting those with developmental disabilities and mental health diagnoses and I came up with the phrase “Grace and Space”. Having grace with our children and ourselves is important!  Equally important is having space for renewal. For me, it’s steeping myself in God’s Word on my quiet, front porch, or picking blueberries in the summer under my favorite overgrown blueberry “tree”. For you, it may be a cup of coffee with a trusted friend. Grace and Space. 
  • Homeschooling allowed us to build in those “buffer days” for when we all needed those “mental health” days. I’ve learned that our schedule looks different from other homeschool families and different is OK! 
  • Finally, focus on the gifts, strengths, and abilities of your children! They are treasures and it’s up to us, as their parents, to help them dig through the dark, so they may shine!  

 

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” – 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

 

Natalie Vecchione is a FASD parent advocate, podcaster, author… and most importantly a wife and homeschool mom of two. Natalie and her husband, John, built their family through domestic adoption. Their son, who is almost 20, lives with a FASD (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder). He graduated from homeschool as a carpentry apprentice. Their daughter is 7 and they have a much different adoption journey with her, as they are very close with their daughter’s birth family. Natalie turned her family’s unique challenges and journey with FASD from reinvention into a calling when she and her husband began FASD Hope in  2020. Natalie and her family live in Eastern North Carolina. 

Natalie’s book “Blazing New Homeschool Trails: Educating and Launching Teens with Developmental Disabilities” co-written with Cindy LaJoy

 

 

 

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The Impact of Mental Health Needs on Learning and What Parents Can Do to Help

Posted on by Cheryl Swope

 

 by Cheryl Swope, M.Ed., Simply Classical Curriculum, Myself & Others Curriculum, and Cheryl Swope Consulting

 

“My child doesn’t have special needs. They just have anxiety, depression, and OCD.” I often hear such statements. Parents sometimes wonder why a child struggles with learning when they don’t have “special needs,” as if only Down syndrome or severe autism impacts learning! 

 

As many of us can attest, any mental turmoil can dramatically affect a child’s ability to concentrate, perform consistently, and feel accomplished academically. Rather than ignore these issues, we would do well to take note. Mental health concerns appear to be on the rise for children. In a recent study of 8,000 teens in the United States in 2021, 44% say they feel “persistent feelings of sadness of hopelessness,” which is up from 26% in 2009. Even 29%, more than 1 in 4, seems high. The 2021 percentage – 44% – is the highest level of teenage depression ever recorded. 

 

One widespread cause seems clear. According to a Cambridge study of 84,000 individuals, social media use was strongly associated with worsening mental health. A particularly vulnerable group appears to be girls ages 11-13. Instagram’s own internal research noted that one-third of all teenage girls said “Instagram made them feel worse,” even though these girls “feel unable to stop themselves” from logging on. (Read more in The Atlantic April 13, 2022 article, “Why American Teens Are So Sad.”) 

 

What can we do? One straightforward antidote is simply going “cold turkey,” as we would with any addiction or compulsion, and substituting something much healthier and more satisfying. Church attendance, heart-to-heart conversations, good books, art classes, team sports, individual exercise like swimming or running, volunteering, or outings with friends will almost certainly, if only gradually, improve a child’s well-being. (Pair this with professional medical or integrative treatment as needed.)

 

Another culprit according to the writer of the article referenced above, is modern parenting. By extension, this may include modern homeschooling. Rather than teach our child to enjoy the uniquely gratifying pen-to-paper expression of writing by hand, we scribe all of their work for them. Rather than expose our dog-averse child to the neighbor’s easygoing Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, we shield them from all dogs. Rather than teach our resistant child to enjoy gratifying pen-to-paper written expression, we scribe all of their work for them. Rather than teach the child to set the table, make their bed, or empty the dishwasher, we do all of these things for them. Rather than introduce the vegetables, fats, and proteins they needs for optimal brain health, we allow the sugary snacks or textures they prefer. Rather than invite an agreeable child to play, we avoid playdates altogether. We give the child the impression that we do not think they can handle much at all. 

 

Persistent rescuing emboldens anxiety and may worsen other conditions. We convey our anxiety about their anxiety and only compound the problem. When a child is depressed and wants to be alone, we can honor their request at times, but we also need to plan enjoyable outings, active sports, or nature walks. We can also make a point of visiting others who need cheering. For the obsessive child, such social distractions often help. For example, when a child compulsively checks something a certain number of times, to “prevent” doom from befalling a family member,  we can work with a therapist to include exposure techniques that embolden the child to see the fallacy of their previous thinking. When they learn that all will be well even when they do not check, they can better enjoy the freedom to allow themselves not to engage in such checking and spend their time in pursuits that truly do help others. 

 

Consider these resources to help with the above:

 

Accommodations have become an understandable norm of good parenting, but we need to be careful. The desired result of parenting is not the absence of all uncomfortable feelings, but rather the resilience to carry on in spite of them. Let’s return to what we know: Children need good playmates, even if they cannot yet manage to establish true “friends.” Children need to build competence academically, even if this requires step-by-step instruction. Children need to learn that they can happily and freely live outside of the little screen on any device to see the real world around them. They can be brave, capable, and thoughtful toward others, as this may be the best and surest way to overcome sadness and hopelessness. As we help our children see their purpose, we can reintroduce our children to the importance of becoming strong, resilient people in their families, churches, and neighborhoods who love, care for, and appreciate those around them with greater confidence, compassion, and cheer.

Cheryl Swope, M.Ed., is the author of Simply Classical: A Beautiful Education for Any Child (Memoria Press, 2nd edition, 2019) and the Simply Classical Curriculum (Memoria Press) for children with mental, physical, and emotional special needs. She and her husband live in a quiet lake community in Missouri with their adult twins who have autism and schizophrenia and who serve others in numerous ways.

 

 

 

 

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Looking Into the Face of Childhood Depression

Posted on by Peggy Ployhar

 

Peggy Ployhar

“It’s like God is a bird and He laid an egg, and that is me, and a snake has come and swallowed me up.”

This was the response given by my 6-year-old son, when I’d asked him what it was like to be him.  The words he uttered cut straight to my heart.  Even almost two decades later, that moment is seared in my memory.

It was tough enough realizing my son was struggling with depression at such a young age.  But, what made the road ahead seem even more bleak, was since I had been his age I’d silently battled the same enemy.

 

It was tough enough realizing my son was struggling with depression at such a young age.  But, what made the road ahead seem even more bleak, was since I had been his age I’d silently battled the same enemy.

 

My Own Struggle with Childhood Depression

My way of coping with my depression growing up was to mask it, try to fit in, and deal internally with the guilt and shame of always wishing my life would end.  Growing up, my family was strict in their religious practices, and although it was never verbalized perfection was idolized.

The fact I didn’t measure up was always before me.  No matter how hard I tried, my social inadequacies because of my autistic tendencies, constant anxiety and sensory issues were glaring evidence. In the face of my academic success, I was far from achieving sainthood.

 

Climbing Out of the Pit

I carried this guilt, shame, and striving for perfection into my young adulthood and early parenting years.  My thinking had been off center so long, I didn’t even realize I had begun healing 6 years prior to my son’s admission.

My climb, out of the pit of depression towards recovery, had begun when I had accepted Jesus Christ into my life, allowing Him to heal my broken past.  But, 6 years into this climb, I had only ascended far enough into the light to reveal how deep I still was in the pit.

My view was far from encouraging.  And then, without warning, I found my son in the pit at my side. Hopelessness overwhelmed me.  I did not understand how I was going to get my own self out.  And now, I was tasked with helping my son to make the climb with me.

 

Series Highlighting Childhood Depression

There many lessons God taught me and my children as we battled against this silent enemy called depression.  Depression is a subject few Christians want to publicly address, especially childhood depression.  But, even though we tend to not talk about depression in children, the statistics are more alarming every year.

.For these reasons, we have posted a series  about childhood depression, regarding the warning LIGHTS to be aware of and the guiding LIGHTS which lead to healing, joy, and the defeat of darkness

 

Links to All the Blogs in this Series

 

Looking Into the Face of Childhood Depression

 

The “L” Factors of Childhood Depression

The “I” Factors of Childhood Depression
The “G” Factors of Childhood Depression
The “H” Factors of Childhood Depression 
The “T” Factors of Childhood Depression 
The “S” Factors of Childhood Depression

 

 

 

 

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