A Journey Through Childhood Depression (Part 1)
By Peggy Ployhar
"It's like God is a bird and He laid an egg, and that is me, and a snake has come and swallowed me up."
This was my six-year-old son’s response when I asked him what it was like to be him. His words hit with such clarity and pain that even now, nearly two decades later, I can still feel the ache in my heart from that moment.
Realizing my son was battling depression at such a young age was devastating enough—but what made it even more crushing was that I, too, had walked a similar path beginning at his age. I knew this darkness intimately. I had fought it in silence for years.
This article is the beginning of a series I wrote many years ago, chronicling our family’s experience with childhood depression. Now, years later, another one of my children lives with severe mental health challenges. Our journey with depression hasn’t ended. It has deepened. But through it all, even in our darkest moments, God has never left us. He has walked with us through the shadows and lifted us up when we could no longer stand. There is always hope when we place our trust in Him. He is our strength, our peace, and our constant companion in the trials we face alongside our children.
My Own Struggle with Childhood Depression
Growing up, I battled depression silently. I masked it, tried to blend in, and carried deep inside me the shame and guilt of wishing—more often than I’d like to admit—that my life would end. My family practiced a strict form of religion, and though it was never spoken, perfection was an unspoken requirement.
I never measured up.
My social awkwardness—exacerbated by undiagnosed autistic traits, constant anxiety, and intense sensory issues—left me painfully aware of how “different” I was. Even though I achieved academically, the pressure to be saintly only highlighted how broken I felt inside.
Climbing Out of the Pit
I dragged this heavy burden of shame, perfectionism, and hidden pain into adulthood and early motherhood. What I didn’t realize was that my healing had actually started six years before my son voiced his own struggle.
It began when I surrendered my life to Jesus Christ.
That moment of faith didn’t bring immediate freedom, but it began a slow and steady climb out of the pit. Six years into my walk with Christ, I had only just reached a place where I could see how deep the pit truly was. I still had a long way to go.
And then, without warning, I looked beside me and saw my son had fallen into the same pit.
I was overwhelmed. How could I possibly guide him to healing when I was still so broken myself?
Why We Must Talk About Childhood Depression
Over the years, God has taught me—and my children—so much through our battles with this silent enemy called depression. One of the hardest realities is how rarely childhood depression is talked about, especially in Christian circles. It's uncomfortable. It's complex. But it is real. And it's affecting more children every year.
According to the CDC, diagnoses of depression and anxiety among children continue to rise. Behind those statistics are real families, real pain, and real kids—like mine and maybe yours.
A Word of Hope for Parents
If you are parenting a child who is struggling with depression—or if you yourself are carrying the weight of mental health battles past or present—I want to encourage you: you are not alone. And more importantly, neither is your child.
Even in the darkest places, God is there. He sees. He knows. He walks beside us. And He offers us strength when ours is gone, peace when we feel torn apart, and hope when things seem hopeless.
This series is for you—whether you're in the pit or trying to help someone out of it. You may not have all the answers, but you can cling to the One who does. There is light ahead, and you don’t have to walk this road alone.
Stay Tuned
In the next part of this series, I’ll begin unpacking some of the specific strategies, spiritual insights, and resources that helped us navigate this journey—imperfectly, but honestly and prayerfully.
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