Renee Sullins, SPED Homeschool Consulting Partner

In working with teenagers for many years, I have learned that if there is ONE thing that teenagers understand well, it’s PROCRASTINATION. Not to say that adults are not guilty of the same, but teenagers are quite adept at it.

There are three types of procrastinators I would unscientifically categorize as the blatant procrastinator, the passive procrastinator, and the convicted procrastinator.

 

The Blatant Procrastinator purposefully ignores an assignment or task and is aware of the consequences. They are not concerned that something is due the next day or that there is even a deadline involved. It may be important to someone else, but not to them. They simply let the deadline pass and move on, much to the displeasure of their parents who may not even know.

Blatant procrastinators would rather do something they want to do and don’t see it as procrastination. This may be the teen who has a messy room, refuses to use a calendar or planner, and has a list of excuses for everything. Why bother to clean your room when it will just get messy again? Planners are too restrictive! These teenagers are also the ones who spend countless hours gaming or on social media.

 

The Passive Procrastinator waits until the last minute to finish so it does not seem to be a big problem. They are aware of deadlines and may even track things in a planner, app, or notes on their cell phone. They have good intentions of following through, but they just cannot accomplish tasks on-time consistently. They know where they want to be, but struggle to manage their time.

Passives may believe they have finished, but in reality, it is only partially done and they don’t notice until it is too late. These teens are usually the ones with ADHD and who are aware of their learning differences, but they are not using the necessary tools to focus and manage their time. Passive procrastinators know the consequences of not getting something done on time. They are often the most amenable to trying new strategies to help prevent procrastination, though.

 

If we can determine what is getting in the way of their success and help them get unstuck, then they are more motivated to cultivate new habits for their success.

 

The Convicted Procrastinator has a heightened awareness that they are procrastinating but, instead of working toward their goal, they quickly become overwhelmed and spiral into thoughts of self-criticism, defeat, and guilt. They are so hard on themselves that they self-sabotage and end up not getting anything done. Or, they are so overwhelmed about their lack of activity, there is often a resultant headache, stomach ache, or even a migraine. When this happens, they feel even worse, and it becomes a vicious cycle.

 

I would also like to mention a fourth type of procrastinator that I know well as I witnessed this type in my teen. They are a kindred spirit to the Passive but to a more extreme level. It is the Avoidant Procrastinator. This is the teen who thinks that if they don’t think about it at all, it will go away. I had one of those in my house. It does not go away. It only gets worse and can cause great anxiety and stress.  Please be aware of the signs that your teen may suffer from more than just being a procrastinator.

 

So what should a parent do? Each procrastinator has his or her own set of rules, coping skills, excuses, and struggles. The first thing I do when I work with young people is to let them know that I come from a place of curiosity, not a place of judgment. We dive deep to determine what they want for themselves, how they want to be seen and heard, what is important to them, and their “why”. If we can determine what is getting in the way of their success and help them get unstuck, then they are more motivated to cultivate new habits for their success. This takes time, patience, and intentional listening.

The teen years are transitional years of becoming more independent yet still needing the approval and counsel of parents. When you have a procrastinator in your home, instead of asking nagging questions or given them endless reminders, seek out resources to get them the support they need that works uniquely for them. This may take some trial and error, but in the end, they will find their way, and will feel empowered and in control of their lives now, and hope for the future.

 

 

 

 

 


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The holidays are rapidly approaching and sometimes our schedules fill up before we know it.  However, for parents of children with special needs; specifically those with sensory differences, the holidays can be an especially stressful time.  What can you do to make them better?

 

Keep as much routine or rhythm to your day as possible
Often times due to holiday closings, parties or family commitments, many of our days are not “typical” during November and December.  However, if you can, keep some routine in your days.  Try to keep meals, naps and sleep schedules the same, if at all possible.  Even if the times are a bit off, having the same routines (reading a story, brushing teeth, praying before bed) can make a big difference in how your children react to the holidays.

 

Consider preparing your child for new events
This looks different for every child.  But if your child needs to know what is going on, consider making a visual schedule or a social story to introduce them to new people, events, or new sensory experiences.  Talk about the event, show them pictures, or even pick out a video (YouTube is fabulous for this) to show them what the event will entail.

 

Put yourself in your child’s shoes
As you schedule your holiday plans, try to step back and really look at how much you have scheduled. Think through what your child typically has trouble with or what triggers problems or meltdowns?  Are there modifications to be made?  If you have children who love something, and others who don’t, could part of your family participate?

 

Don’t be afraid to say NO!
This is probably my best tip: Don’t be afraid to say no.  Though the holidays are special, we tend to over schedule and cram every social event into a month’s time.  It can get overwhelming, even for adults who are extroverts.  Sometimes we just need to say no.  This involves prioritizing what is really important to us and our families.  We don’t have to do everything in order to make memories.  In fact, some of things that make the best memories, are those we do at home and without planning.

 

Let go of your expectations
In this fabulous of age of Instagram, Facebook and Pinterest, we tend to want all our memories to look “picture perfect”.  Guess what?  That’s not real life.  Sometimes the greatest triumph you will have is keeping your children alive or getting everyone a bath.  Remember, when you see pictures of perfection that is literally one second of that person’s day.  I can guarantee you that the other 86,399 seconds in their day do not look that way.

 

Embrace simple family traditions
Reading Christmas stories, playing with a nativity set, singing Christmas carols, decorating a tree, baking Christmas cookies, coloring and decorating the house all are fun ways to celebrate.  You don’t have to be out at light shows or at a party with 100 people to make memories that your children will cherish.  Just as you can do school “outside of the box”, you can do Christmas “outside of the box.”  You can do it any way that works for you and your family.  Don’t be afraid of embracing new traditions or trying different things.

 

Whatever you choose to do this year, we at SPED Homeschool pray it is an amazing time for you and your family.

 


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By Jan Bedell, PhD

 

Why do so many children in America have symptoms associated with labels like, ADD, ADHD or Central Auditory Processing Disorder (CAPD)?  A mystery has arisen around the epidemic of children that struggle with:

  • following directions
  • the ability to attend and stay on task
  • distractibility
  • understanding the big picture when in a situation
  • social immaturity
  • reading comprehension
  • the ability to use a phonic approach to learn to read
  • and many other symptoms

 

Solving the Mystery from Within

These struggles are the cause of many challenges in school and often produce labels resulting in medication.  The NeuroDevelopmental Approach says, “let’s solve that mystery by finding the root cause of the symptoms.”  In other words, “Say NO to labels and YES to hope!”  Change the brain at the root cause and the symptoms can be eliminated. After all, the labels of ADD, ADHD and CAPD are symptomatic labels.  A symptomatic label comes from a list of symptoms. If there are enough checkmarks on the list, then the person is given a corresponding label.  The bottom line for us in the NeuroDevelopmental field is that each symptom is caused by something in the brain.  The good news is that the brain has plasticity, which means it can change and grow even where there are current struggles.

Many years ago when our educational system was developed, we were an auditory society.  We ate together as a family 2-3 times a day and TALKED. In contrast, we often eat on the run while the videos are flowing through the backseats of our cars.  In the past, we read as a family in the evenings or listened to radio broadcasts for hours.  We were an auditory society, and we developed our auditory sequential processing ability by the practice of intense, frequent listening.  In more recent times, we have transitioned to a more visual society.

 

“…the brain has plasticity, which means it can change and grow even where there are current struggles.

 

Auditory Sequential Processing Explained

Auditory Sequential Processing is the ability to hold pieces of information together in the order that it is communicated. An example would be being able to accurately retell a story that you have just heard in the correct order of events.  A good auditory processing ability is vital to reading comprehension as well as the ability to hold all the phonograms together to read words with a phonics approach. It is also important to picking up social cues, following directions and staying on task.  All these skills are needed to reach our full potential in school and in life. Good processing is necessary to avoid many of the symptoms previously mentioned in this post that cause us to suspect or label individuals. For a more in-depth look at auditory processing, listen to the Brain Coach Tip – The Best Kept Secret in Education, Auditory Processing

 

 

 

 

 

Auditory Processing and Behavior

Behavior is also greatly influenced by auditory processing, especially if the processing is weak. For example, if a 12 year old processes more like a 4-5 year old, he will act like a much younger child, causing much conflict in the home and with peers.  It boils down to this: you are expecting a 12 year old maturity level, but the individual is “developmentally” 4-5 years old.  This doesn’t mean there is something wrong with the individual or a reflection of their IQ.  No, it simply means something has blocked the right stimulation from the environment to gain 12-year-old processing ability.

Since the brain is dynamic and ever changing, much can be done to increase the processing ability of any person, at any age.  The results can be dramatic!  One example is a young man named Aaron who had been labeled ADD and put on Ritalin from the 3rd-9th grades to cope with the demands of school.  After participating for one year in the home-based activity list from Little Giant Steps, based on The NeuroDevelopmental Approach, he was able to finish high school very successfully without the use of medications or modifications. Today Aaron is a dedicated Christian husband and father of four as well as a part owner in a successful small business.

 

Drug-Free Treatment Solutions

You have heard of preventative medicine right?  We promote ways to prevent children from being labeled with ADD, ADHD or CAPD as well as offering drug-free solutions to reduce or eliminate the symptoms if an individual has already been labeled.  Working on auditory processing twice a day for two minutes is one of the keys to both prevention and changing the symptoms.

If you exercise the brain with specific stimulation, it produces better function.  Learn more about neurodevelopment and get a free auditory processing test kit to start enhancing your families’ future here:  Auditory Processing Information.

 

 


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Are you homeschooling children that have been gifted with extraordinary energy like mine?  If so, you will relate to their behaviors:
  • Little patience for anything not involving movement
  • Constant climbing, running, wrestling, fidgeting and talking.
  • Energy levels that push them to engage in risky behavior
  • They have two speeds:  whirling dervish and sleeping

While these characteristics are slight exaggerations to make a point, if you are raising children with high energy, you will already be picturing how this plays out in your home. This type of child demands more than typical parenting strategies.   Here are some strategies I have learned that help embrace my children for who they are and have helped ensure we all survive their journey to adulthood.


Tips for Raising and Homeschooling Very Energetic Children:

 

Tip 1 – When possible, start every day with physical activity  
Our two young men need to run every morning before school.  This began when they were three years old.  We used to live near a park and it became the venue for our morning running circuit.  Working out my boys’ energy before school, prevented many tears, lots of frustration, and saved time in getting them to focus.

 

Tip 2 – Find safe places for them to take risks and let them go  
This recommendation runs against the grain of current parenting trends.  As our culture over-shelters and protects children in many areas, they become stunted in their initiative, tolerance for risk, and problem-solving skills.  

 

Our sons have been risk-takers from toddlerhood.  For us, state and national parks provided a refuge where our children could be wild and not bother other people.  When younger, our sons ran miles of trails and climbed many of rocks.  Now, at 12 and 14, they climb 14,000 ft. mountains for fun.  My sons have tackled challenges usually reserved for older children.   At times, their daring feats have caused onlookers concern, but they have always operated within their abilities.

 

Tip 3 – Encourage exploration and experimentation
Overly active children’s abundant energy, often comes with inquisitiveness and ingenuity. These are wonderful traits that will serve our children well as they mature.  Encouraging these traits means you will have a messy house at times, often leave workbook learning behind, and won’t be in control of this aspect of their learning.  What you gain is worth every bit of the cost.

 

Tip 4 – Set strong boundaries around personal property and people
High-energy children can literally crash through life.  To help avoid the social problems caused by this propensity, we must teach our children firm boundaries.  This takes direct teaching, lots of repetition, and opportunities to practice.  Teaching our children to respect others’ property (not touching or grabbing things without permission), not rough-housing unexpectedly with other children, and to confine wild play to the outdoors can help prevent behaviors that overwhelm or repel others.

 

Tip 5 – Limit or avoid times they are required to be still
In our family, we expect our children to sit quietly during worship, funerals, weddings and in time-out.  These times teach them self-control and self-regulation which are essential skills. However, their ability to do this successfully was much less-developed than their peers.  We have had to closely assess what they could tolerate and not push them past their limits. When they do not have to be still, I try to let them move, fidget and chatter as much as possible.  As they have grown, maturity has tempered much of this overactive behavior.

 

Dyana with her very energetic boys
Tip 6 – Participate in shared activities with them
My husband has helped immensely in this area.  He started taking our sons running from a very young age and cultivated a deep bond with them in doing so.  It has been more challenging for me as the boys have grown into young men.  I cannot keep up with them on trails anymore and time constraints also make it difficult.  So, a couple of years ago, I did something absurd and wonderful:  I signed the three of us up for martial arts classes.
  
I am over forty, struggle with weight and health issues, and was frankly terrified of getting out on the mat.  However, two years in, we have grown closer to one another, discovered another great outlet for their energy, and gained a supportive and loving community.  This experience has also helped us stay connected as they are becoming young men.

 

It is easier to schedule things for our active children and watch from the sidelines to get a much-needed break.  I am not discouraging that altogether.  However, I want to encourage you to find shared activities as well. Close bonds develop from shared hobbies and wonderful, lifelong memories are made.

 

 

 


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